In memory of my loving parents

Life has given me different feelings at my parents’ departure. I was shattered when I lost my father in April 2015. It took a long time for me to return to normal life. On the contrary, I recovered in a relatively shorter span of time when my mother left us in May 2016. It might be that in a year I had mentally prepared myself for the harsh reality that the departure of our loved ones is a natural phenomenon of life. My parents were not famous. However, they were successful in their respective spheres of life - be it social, professional, or familial. My father was a self-made businessman. My mother was a homemaker. They had qualities that made them respectable, honored, adored and loved by their families, friends and the community. I knew they were always keen on helping people in crisis but I was not aware of the monumental extent, until their demise when people visited us and told us. I feel proud for them. The true success of a person is in how he/she is loved and remembered by others. We are born as human beings but to be a real human being in life is a different thing altogether. That is what I have learnt from my parents. The morality, principles, integrity, religious values and the overall philosophy of life which are deeply rooted in my mind are inherited from my parents. I aspire to transfer these values to my children. During my childhood in the seventies, fathers were portrayed as iron men with serious personalities. My father, Golam Ahmed was an exception of that as he was very lively, friendly, caring and an easy-going person. He spent time with his family and friends. We are two sisters and have no brother. The families in the sixties/seventies with only two daughters were exceptional; as people used to crave for a son. I can proudly say that I never heard in my life any regret from my father for a son. He tried to raise us with all the opportunities, without any discrimination. He was proud as we excelled in our professions. Nowadays we hear about the importance of spending quality time with children, but I had learnt that from my father much earlier.  He was busy in the day time, and when he got back home in the evening he always spent time with us. We used to watch movies and serials together. Playing Cards and Ludo with Abba was common in weekends. He was fond of football and cricket. He was also very popular among his nephews and nieces because of his openness and easy access. He was very sincere about his religious activities. He not only studied the holy Quran but also Islamic history. He never imposed religion on us, rather he created the environment which eventually lead us to follow the path. He was a caring husband. He loved to give surprise gifts to my mother. I wonder where he got these ideas in the seventies. He took care of her while she was suffering from Parkinson's disease in the later part of her life. Talking about mothers is the tough because you don’t know where to start and where to finish. My mother Afia Khatun Chowdhury was married when she was in first year of college. She was simple, kind hearted, affable and very social. She could easily make friends.On the contrary I am bit introverted, although my sister inherited her quality. She was fashionable at her time and loved to design our clothes. My mother also took care of our studies, be it in school, college or university. She was always there. My mother also took care of her grandchildren as my sister and I are working mothers. My parents were very much attached with their grandchildren and they were lucky enough to enjoy their granddaughter’s marriage. In most of the families there is predilection between the extended family, but such was not the case in ours. This credit goes to my mother, considering the role of a wife in our society. That was a crucial lesson for me, a girl who would be a wife one day. She was widely admired among her extended family, social friends and the neighbors.  When She was suffering from Parkinson’s, and she became like a child in the last few months of her life and we had to take the role of a mother. As I think about it now, I become baffled, as to what life actually is and what are we running for. The most valuable thing on earth is the love and affection of parents. It is unconditional, and unparalleled. There is no way you can repay it, especially mother’s love. Our society is not transitioning, life is becoming mechanical and family values are shifting with social transformation and global influences.  It is time for us to ponder for a moment, what we are doing for our parents at their old age when they need us the most, and what lesson we are leaving behind for our children. It is true I lost my shelter to seek guidance from in my tough times and to share the happiest moments of life, nevertheless, my solace and contentment is that my parents have had enjoyed their full span of life with grace and dignity. And I was always beside them till their last breath.The writer is an Operations Officer, Country Management Unit at the World Bank