Buckets of ghee have transitioned to being just a teaspoon of vegetable oil as people in our country are starting to make healthier choices for themselves. Without further ado, here are eight types of health enthusiasts you might have crossed paths with, sometimes when you were paying just enough attention, and sometimes when you really didn’t have to.
The Calorie Calculators
These people not only deprive themselves of unhealthy, heavenly food, they make sure everyone who indulges in a little junk food lovin’ feels exceptionally horrible afterwards. “Did you know that the medium sized bread stick you’re chewing on has about 40 calories? 40! I can smell fat in the air!” Even though their intention might not be wrong, you catch yourself wanting to shove a sock in their mouths. Tough love.
The Oversized Bellies
These are the people who, despite enough effort, have not been able to cross any threshold head-first. Their gigantic bellies beat them at their game, winning the walking race every single time. They have been advised by physicians to regularly exercise and are forced into being more health conscious but somehow always end up failing miserably.
The Aspiring Schwarzeneggers
Squats, deadlifting, push-ups, cardio, etc. You name it. They’ve mastered it all. Exercise is to them what Nutella is to us commoners. They chug down protein in a way that puts a hungry lion to shame. It’s all about having that desired ripped body. Posting half naked selfies on their timeline also happens to be one of their traits. To them- "Gym is Life, Life is Gym."
The Planners
These people have so many marks and post-it notes on their calendars, you can hardly see what year it is. They give themselves pep talks for hours, emphasising on the necessity of working out and eating right, only to find another set of excuses. If they claim that they’re going to be hitting the gym tomorrow, you can very well be certain that tomorrow isn’t showing up for a year or two.
The Seasonals
Are those wedding bells I hear? Is there a must-look-fabulous event coming up soon? Time to get the exercise game on! These people visualise their goal and do anything and everything to achieve it. In the months leading up to the big event, words like carbs are wiped clean from their dictionary. That Kareena Kapoor lahenga has to fit! The fitness gurus’ speeches are their mantras, but only up until the function. As soon as they have accomplished looking oh-so-fine for the pictures, it’s a half an hour drive to the nearest burger joint.
The Weight Gainers
When we read or talk about health issues, most of the time, it has to do with losing that extra bit of fat. For these lucky people, it’s the opposite. Their prescription involves getting fatter and getting more flesh on the bones. Imagine someone saying - “Can I have the biggest burger you have? My doctor asked me to eat it. Twice a day.” You haven’t really grasped the true meaning of envy, until you meet one of these.
The Maniacs
You’re walking about in the supermarket and you think your maniac sister has gone to buy a mango bar, but little do you know that she has fainted over at aisle 4. The maniacs think that they are being health conscious, but in reality they end up doing more damage than good. Eating healthy involves "eating"- they seem to forget that. Starving themselves for days not only keeps them on edge, it makes things difficult for the people around them as well.
The Whiners
These people are healthy, fit, and well. Everyone can see that but themselves. They are blind to their perfection and make people want to murder them. They constantly nag and complain about themselves. They fill their tummies with extra cheese toppings but never fail to yell out “NO SUGAR” while asking for tea, because apparently they are on a “special” diet. If you’ve saved up for an exclusive moment to roll your eyes, this is it. Unleash your inner eye-rolling animal within you, because the whiners are here.
