It was during lockdown when I for the first time watched ‘Her’ (2013) -- the magnificent piece by Spike Jonze. And I have been rewatching it every once in a while since then. Another film that had me similarly obsessed is ‘Lost in Translation’ (2003) -- by Sophia Coppola.
I watched Lost in Translation after I had watched Her. And it wasn’t until much later that I learned these two brilliant artists were formerly married, and there is a prevailing belief that these two films are at least largely autobiographical. Her is thought to be a response to Lost in Translation, or that of Jonze’s to Coppola. A response to all the grievances and disappointments that were depicted on the canvas through Charlotte’s character, portrayed by Scarlett Johanson, responded to sweetly through the protagonist -- Theodore. Through the torments, loneliness, and silence to the complaints of his ex-wife, while she signed the divorce paper in tears.
I too, do subscribe to this belief. I do believe that these two movies share autobiographic elements. I do think that Her is a sweet, heartful, and apologetic reply to Lost in Translation.
First of all, both movies share two unhappy couples that look strikingly parallel. In Lost in Translation, Charlotte (Scarlett Johanson) is awfully alone despite the presence of her husband John (Giovanni Ribisi), and finds a true companion in Bob Harris (Bill Murray). The couple’s inability to relate to one another has caused dissatisfaction and estrangement that has reached a point beyond repair. While the divorce papers had not yet been signed in Her, Theodore (Joaquin Phoenix) and Catherine (Rooney Mara) had already been separated for a very long time. In my opinion, the dynamics of Charlotte and John in Lost in Translation were extremely similar to how they fell out of love with each other. And second, the face of Catherine -- filled with sorrow, frustration, and disappointment looked quite similar to that of Charlotte. And most importantly, although perhaps my eyes could be distorted by my belief -- Rooney Mara in Her did look like Sophia Coppola very much.
Furthermore, back in 2013, Sophia Coppola said that she was actually trying to figure out her marriage with Spike Jonze during the writing of the script for the movie.
Now, based on that notion, the movies -- during my rewatch, did strike me, noticing how our perception of our “self” differs so much from the way we are perceived by others. Given my belief that the two films are slightly autobiographical, Theodore in Her and John in Lost in Translation turns out to be portraying the same person -- Spike Jonze. Same would hold for Charlotte, Catherine, and Sophia Coppola. I was perplexed at how different the persona of Jonze were in Theodore and John from each other -- parallelly represented, in the eyes of himself and in the eyes of Sophia Coppola.
Of course, because of the distance already there between Charlotte and John, we only get to know John quite on the surface, as he has already been quite absent in Charlotte’s life, and therefore, does not show up much in Lost and Translation. In the movie, he comes out as an uncaring spouse who frequently ignores Charlotte, always frustratingly misunderstanding any effort of communication from Charlotte. He is constantly with his work and friends. He doesn’t seem to have the capacity to give Charlotte much of a mental or emotional space. Charlotte is alienated by his callous insensitivity toward her. Their words are lost in translation between them, making it impossible for them to understand one another. In a word, Jonze -- correction, John comes off as a very uncaring and incapable husband.
While on the other hand, his parallel character in Her -- Theodore is the protagonist in the movie. We get a closer look at him, as though via his own lens. He lives in near future, when society and its values have adjusted according to the advancement in technology and the ease in individual life. Theodore is a kind man who is terribly afflicted by loneliness. His marriage with his former beloved and best friend Coppola-- correction again -- Catherine has already fallen apart. Although he could not make things work out with her, he finds it too difficult to sign the divorce papers and officially sever himself from Catherine. He later finds himself in a relationship with Samantha -- who happens to be an operating system. And it is not anything unnatural in the contemporary society. But he misses being married to Catherine. When she complained while they meet to sign the papers that he always wanted her to be “…a light happy, bouncy, “everything’s fine’’ L.A wife,” he says that he didn’t. And when she tells him that he “always wanted to have a wife without the challenges of dealing with anything real,” he has nothing to say in reply. It hits him hard, although his emotions for Samantha are real. In Her, Jonze portrays a very different persona than what Coppola saw in Lost in Translation.
It was quite a hard-hitting realization -- like a sinister light bulb moment I had the feeling that going forward, I should be more aware of how drastically other people’s perceptions of me can diverge so much from my own. The communication process is so distorted. So weak are our words, and actions, and silences when it comes to connecting with a person. To each person we interact with, each person who know of us -- we become this whole different person. Our words can translate so little of what we have in our mind. Our ability to communicate with words is incredibly limited. We are utterly incapable of reflecting who we really are. Why was it necessary to make interpersonal connections so challenging that we could never genuinely know the person we are closest to? We continually misinterpret one other in the smallest of ways, and the other person does the same to us. We barely even know ourselves and live our lives projecting a distorted image of ourselves. Even those who have lived their lives in close proximity for years can’t seem to get to know one another, how difficult is the world?
We lose so much of our self in translation in between us.
