Today is Mother’s Day, a day which gives special recognition to all mothers, young and old. In fact, in their difficult but rewarding job of teaching children to stand on their feet and thrive, it would be remiss to not mention that fathers too play a vital role.
Parenting is arguably the most important job in the world, and a crucial part of that job is to teach children that every person – whether male, female, inter-sexed, Hijra etc – is worthy of respect, is human, and, as a human being, has the right to make their own choices.
Now, by respect, I do not mean being a sycophant or a doormat for anyone, regardless of the latter’s gender, age, or position. I refer to the basic principle of valuing a person, and showing consideration for that person.
Unfortunately, in our society, with regard to respect for all, especially women, we still seem to be floundering. For a long time, society has severely underrated women’s intelligence and potential. Instead, there has been an entrenched disdain for women and women’s issues, even if unthinkingly done. Of course there are exceptions, the open-minded, sensible, and civil people in our society, who treat everyone with equal civility and see women, indeed everyone, as human beings with capabilities and character. In fact, numerous young men, who encompass the above characteristics, have told me it is their mothers who taught them to have the utmost respect for women.
Nevertheless, over the years, we have seen news reports splashed across newspapers and the television screen of men who were rejected by women and then threw acid on them or attacked and/murdered them, of spouses who were assaulted and murdered by their husbands and/or in-laws demanding dowries, of school-girls who were harassed by young men and committed suicide, and recently of parents and/or relatives who were murdered by their daughters’ harassers, or the latter’s acquaintances, for standing up for the girls. And these are the cases that were reported. One can only begin to guess at the number of unreported cases because the victims were terrified of retaliation.
At the root, it comes down to one thing. The assailants – indeed, anyone who has a bigoted attitude and dismissive attitude towards women, and whose actions and words reflect as much – have little to no respect for females. The former have been raised and conditioned by either one or both parents to believe that boys are superior and girls inferior. They see females as objects to possess, as sub-human, and thereby believe they have the power to do what they please with no impunity.
One only has to look around for oneself, and talk to people to see the power dynamics play out between men and women, to see how easily and automatically many women’s thoughts, ideas, and concerns are dismissed – whether by men or women – or in how women are treated when out in public. Or that when a woman protests against an assault or injury done to her, there are none to stand up with her in solidarity, only an audience watching the freak show play out, thereby giving assailants cause to taunt and harass the woman all the more.
Though employment opportunities have vastly improved for women in our nation, attitudes have not. Women have yet to walk the footpaths without being ogled and stalked, or their body parts grabbed at while on a bus or anywhere else out in public. This is harassment, and women should not be made to feel victims merely for being out in public.
This is not a national problem, but an international problem. In fact, we saw an extreme example of contempt on April 14, when more than 200 young Nigerian women were abducted by Boko Haram, an Islamist military organisation, who attacked the school while the girls were in the midst of a final exam. Since then, most women have been sold, and others are still being threatened to be sold. None of the girls have been found. Their only crime? Seeking to educate themselves, and that too with a Western education.
You see, Boko Haram believes that women’s only purpose is to stay home and serve their men, and they are using God as a justification for their heinous crimes. Let’s call it what it really is, using religion as an excuse to engage in the sex slave trade. Anyone who has been abducted and/or sexually abused will know the unspeakable terror these girls are going through.
One might call me a feminist, and if one believes as the men of Boko Haram do, one would think it an insult to call me this, but I wear this badge with pride, simply because I define feminism to be what it should be at its most basic sense: The belief that a female is human, and as such, is granted the same rights and same respect deserving of all human beings, including the right to make her own choices.
From the time girls are born, they learn and develop abilities, and their intelligence grows as they mature. However, aside from any disability, social norms and the environment in which they are raised and live in influences how poorly or well girls reach their full potential.
Women in our nation have been fighting for respect and humanity, but they need more support in this fight. This is why I challenge all those who do respect women (whether men, women, hijras etc) to set an active example, to step up and demonstrate their respect and solidarity when they see any women, indeed anyone, being harassed or demeaned. I challenge them to make real positive impacts, to teach the audience assembled how people should be treated, the very same lessons on respect and humanity taught to them by their parents. Otherwise, how will society move forward?
