When we were kids, the world around us was that of trust and reliance. We have had trust in our parents, siblings, and our kith and kins -- no matter how distant the relationships were. We used to trust our neighbours, people of the community, our elders and youngsters too.
It is difficult to believe now that we trusted even strangers. At the root of all these trusts remained an eternal belief -- belief in love, camaraderie, togetherness. We believed that no one will do harm to us unnecessarily and no one will damage the bond of trust.
In society, the sphere of trust was deep and widespread. We used to put our trust in our family members, unconditional faith in our friends, and deep-rooted confidence in our teachers. The younger people relied on the elders, the followers had trust on their leaders, the common people had faith in the intelligentsia.
Such trust and faith were the main foundation of our social relationship and solidarity. Because of such age-long trust and reliance, a base of security also developed in the society -- where there were no worries about securities of women and children, the religious harmony was not in danger.
Such trust and reliance helped develop a value of human dignity and mutual respect in the society. The elders used to get respect from the youngsters, while the latter enjoyed affection from the elders. Students used to show respect for their teachers. The common people have had high respect for those who were educated. Because of mutual respect, people used to maintain the necessary decorum in their words and would be careful of certain boundaries in the use of the language as they speak.
Does it mean that there were no exceptions to the above scenario? Of course, there were. In certain instances, there was mistrust and absence of confidence, sometimes people would face situations of insecurity. But such instances were sporadic and not normal. In such incidents, people would condemn the incidents and those who were responsible for them. They would also rush to save the victims of such undesired situations and make sure that the miscreants are punished.
But the present social panorama of our country is quite different.
Today, around the country and in every part of the society, a “culture of mistrust” has taken roots. People do not trust each other within the family. Siblings who have spent their childhood in mutual love and affection, now mistrust and collide with one another with regard to wealth and properties.
In Bangladesh, the conflicts over family wealth and properties are now quite common at various levels of the society. We no longer trust our neighbours, in fact, sometimes, we even do not know their names, not to speak of knowing them. We no longer believe in the neighbourhood guardianship of our elders. We take exceptions if they try to discipline our kids.
At work, we do not trust our co-workers. Often, we think that they are busy demeaning us and upgrading them by hook and crook. We no longer put our trust in politics and have lost confidence in both the government and the politicians. The common people have long ago lost trust in people who are the intelligentsia. Respect for elders is extinct. The younger people easily offend the elders. “Disobedience” is no longer a taboo and “good manners” is now a fading value.
The greatest victims of such disrespect and repression are the teachers. Every day, the newspapers and social media carry news and photos depicting the repressions of teachers. The minimum respect for teachers is no longer there. The trust, confidence, and the respect that the teachers have earned in our society over the years have all but disappeared.
The culture of mistrust has given rise to a number of phenomena which had long been a taboo in our society. One of them is the language -- both written and spoken. Today, in the use of language, there are no boundaries, no decorum, no use of judgement.
Even the educated cultured people, the elderly, the students have been using such words and uttering such sentences. In the use of language, everything seems to be permissible. All these have created a toxic atmosphere, which seems to be based on mistrust, disrespect, and attacks and counter-attacks.
There seems to be several reasons which have given rise to a culture of mistrust. One of them is that money and power seem to be the measuring yardstick for success in the present world. Adherence to human values, empathy to fellow human beings, consideration to others, commitments to society are no longer considered as achievements of a human being. If money and wealth are accumulated through any means, people get access to the key to power.
And if the power is a political one, it becomes easier to accumulate money and wealth. Under such circumstances, three things happen.
First, with enormous wealth and lots of power, a human being may not consider others as equals or as worthy human beings. And, in the process, dignity of others, respect for fellow human beings becomes secondary. In such a dynamic, an atmosphere of mistrust also evolves. Those who have made their fortune through ill means, are always under the fear that others may appropriate it. There will be mistrust in the preservation of wealth which has been achieved through improper means.
Second, when wealth and power are the foundations of one’s life, it also breeds self-centredness. “I” and “me” become the only vocabulary in that context and collective values have no place in that perspective. And a self-centred soul cannot trust others, cannot have faith in anyone else. A self-centred person constantly worries that others are busy cheating him or her. The mentality of a self-centred person is based on mistrust and non-confidence.
Third, with mistrust and lack of faith come collision and conflict. Mistrust and non-confidence give rise to a binary situation -- “if you are not with me or do not agree with me, you are my enemy.” There is no middle-ground here. As a result, a conflicting position between individuals is quite common, where there seems to be no scope for tolerance, freedom for alternative views, and resolution of conflicts through reasonable means such as dialogues and discussions. It seems to me that conflicts have become our culture and violence has become our language.
We know from history that human civilization has progressed because of togetherness of people, trust and confidence in others, mutual respect and consideration. If those values are destroyed, mistrust and non-confidence become deep-rooted, the doors to collision and conflicts open up and destruction and downfall become inevitable.
Dr Selim Jahan is the Former Director, Human Development Report Office and Poverty Division, United Nations Development Program, New York, USA.
