The news found a small page in the local papers: Women in China developing virtual friendships. As per a survey, women are tilting more towards virtual buddies because real-life friends often lack the patience to be a devoted listener. Well, one might ask why it’s important to have someone listen to another person’s woes and thoughts, but if we look at our lives, we will find that there’s always someone to whom we open our hearts. An old saying goes: A burden shared is a burden halved, and while sharing too much of the burden may not be a wise idea, every human needs at least one sympathetic ear.
It appears that the kindly ear is becoming something of a rarity, especially in a world dominated by the “pause and you will fall behind” notion. Although, it’s always a matter of debate as to whether someone falls behind or not. In this race to be ahead of the rest, both men and women tend to become lone eagles.
For a period that may have its benefits as many modern-day life counsellors diligently advise corporate high-flyers to walk alone to shed off the detractors and denigrators.
However, after a certain period, we all seek a trusted comrade, a confidant who will listen and help us ease the load of too much pent up stress.
Why the virtual pal?
When it comes to injecting technology into life, China takes a front seat -- with so much technology coming out of the country every year, the much-written-about domestic robotic help may be within our reach sooner than previously thought.
Satyajit Ray in his Professor Shonku adventures gave us a robotic domestic support called “Onukul,” which is no longer sheer science fiction but may turn into science fact soon. But Ray was also a shrewd reader of the Bengali mind and, hence, gave his robot several human (e) qualities.
Coming back to the virtual friend, the news about women in China relying more on the virtual buddy exposes not only the rise of technology in our lives but the overall wariness of humans towards other humans. Shakespeare once said: “most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly,” and in 2025, that quote reflects the rising distance between humans coming from the same social class due to intense competition in all aspects of life.
Fortunately, some people remain content with what they have and shun the rat race to pause and smell the roses. Sadly, the number of these wise people is low, especially in advanced countries. The quest to be ahead of others is incrementally instilled in us by society and reinforced by those around us, but the irony is, when one does surge ahead, there are always efforts to restrain that person.
The long trusted friend, who has remained loyal for some reason becomes jealous and the sympathetic ear is lost. The advantage of the virtual companion is that it does not have the capacity to be susceptible to human vices, meaning, it will not get envious or spill the beans. At least, unless we develop robots with human emotions and follies.
On very crucial matters in life, humans need the right advice supported by logic. That may not be so forthcoming if the friend is human. Hence, the dependence on virtual buddies.
The advantage of the virtual companion is that it does not have the capacity to be susceptible to human vices, meaning, it will not get envious or spill the beans. At least, unless we develop robots with human emotions and follies
Will the virtual friend be a rage in Bangladesh?
Now that is a million-dollar question. Across the world, virtual companions are becoming popular, either in the role of a tutor, guide, or counsellor and many such services are available to us online. However, this is a country where we prefer person-to-person interaction more. Bluntly put, most of us still believe strongly in the healing powers of a heart-to-heart chinwag with a close buddy.
In Bangla that’s called adda -- this four-letter word goes far beyond the idle talk aimed to uplift the soul. From the rainy evening cosy chat over a hot drink to the long tittle tattle over a drink on a breezy night to the roadside gossip covering the mundane and the serious, adda may sound like meaningless chatter but in many cases, a plethora of personal issues, ranging from corporate intrigue to family feuds to romantics impasse and legal wrangles are discussed with some solution coming out in the end. Bangladesh may be in love with a wide array of cutting edge technology-based apps although in several areas they are hopelessly reliant on old-fashioned methods.
The short line “dosto, bhejale asi,” (buddy, I am in a pickle) still manages to galvanize friends and resolve the most critical of predicaments. So, no, the robotic friend will not see a sudden surge in popularity anytime soon.
Bangladeshis will certainly use state-of-the-art software only to solidify the human-to-human relations. No matter how much they use technology, at the end of an exciting virtual communication comes the ultimate line: Asho dekha kori (let’s meet up) or kobe dekha hobe? (when will we meet?)
From a light-hearted romantic angle, this may sound harmless. The darker and savage side to such interactions was revealed recently when a girl who went to meet a virtual friend was brutally abused and killed. Another incident of an 11-year-old who fled home with a male friend she met via Tik Tok did not, thankfully, have a tragic ending as the girl was brought back home with the support of law enforcement.
With danger lurking behind glossy tech-based social interaction platforms, somehow, it seems making buddies the old fashioned way, with parents knowing about it, is better. No one is saying one will get a totally devoted friend in one go but the process of identifying false buddies can be a life lesson too.
Such trial and testing helps us become discerning adults with a few hiccups and burned fingers on the way. Well, no one ever said, life was roses and honey.
As for life’s frenetic pace which I mentioned earlier, a few lines form Bengali poet Jibonanondo Das comes to mind, which, in English, translates to: “I am in no hurry to go to my destination; I have enough time to walk to it and sit there for sometime; others can carry the excitement of life’s startling innovations, I do not feel any urge to do so. Perhaps, in this new dawn, I am profoundly obsolete under the glitter of the stars.”
Towheed Feroze is a former journalist.
