Facebook, which was developed by one of the most successful Harvard dropouts we have ever known, is presently used by many people of all ages all around the globe. The widespread appeal of Facebook to everybody, from grandparents to pre-teens, appears to has been made possible in light of its capacity to fulfil our requirements for association, self-advancement, and socially significant news (not exactly in that specific order). Or so we would want to believe.
Just as Facebook can keep us associated and intellectually animated in positive ways, it can also bait us into the dark openings of hopelessness, envy, fixation, and voyeurism. Abuse of Facebook can get you into genuine inconvenience, undermining your family or employment, and achieve you notoriety. In some cases, misuse can even be fatal. Below are some common Facebook “sins” and some ways to deal with such demons.
Jealousy
Individuals who submit to the wrongdoing of Facebook “envy” usually start by keeping an eye on their romantic associate(s), looking for proof of genuine or envisioned disloyalty. They torment themselves, pondering on what is implied when he or she adds another friend or posts an equivocal announcement.
This issue is worsened by the fact that you don’t have the foggiest idea about what’s going on. Additionally, in case you’re normally a bit on the untrusting side, you may be especially susceptible to this sort of jealousy. It can even extend to former spouses and previous sweethearts or beaus, in some cases continuing for a considerable length of time after separation.
Dealing with it: It might be difficult, yet, in the event that you find yourself obsessing over an ex, you need to drive yourself to shroud this individual’s online activities, or unfriend them once and for all. On account of current associates, advise yourself, when seeing another individual’s Facebook statuses, to keep in mind a perspective or context you may not be aware of at the time. Try not to form a hasty opinion, otherwise you’re sure to foster genuine conflict in a relationship.
The one-up
“Impression management” is the term given to this phenomenon, where one tries to make their friends feel that they are missing out on something.
How does it feel when your friends come up with spicier updates, and leave you wondering where your wits have gone? Hundreds of “likes,” while you’re scrapping for each one of yours? The game of one-upping the other is underway.
Dealing with it: Calm yourself, and don’t get dragged into these pitiful situations. Telling yourself exactly that, should do the trick. Sit back and enjoy the comments of people who you can call your friends, and have a few laughs.
Fear of missing out
Pictures or status updates may reflect where your friends may have congregated, which leaves you wondering what went wrong. You begin to wonder why you have not been invited; a self-imposed image of failure is conjured up. You’re then stuck envisioning the great times they’re having, or more terribly, you can really see it via their updates. Maybe then you go for a fake update of your own, making yourself even more miserable than before, while your self-esteem goes down the drain.
Dealing with it: Think about self-respect. Think about whether showing off what you’re doing would make you feel good from within. Don’t pity yourself when looking up other people’s updates. Be glad that you don’t need to let the whole world know the five different places you have coffee every day.
TMI
You get angry when someone glances at your diary, yet you write about so many private and personal matters in your posts. Sometimes even complain about the fact that it’s not getting enough attention. You have many sorts of contacts on your list. Maybe what you’re sharing isn’t for all eyes. What you share could leave a lot of people feeling very uncomfortable, and cause others to judge because, let’s face it, we all do.
Dealing with it: Remember, less is more. Updates pack more of a punch when they are about interesting things and not just about where you had dinner with your friends. Also, regarding posting personal matters, messages would be a better option when communicating with concerned friends. Imagine, what if all your posts were to be published in a daily? Facebook isn’t really much different from that.
Regret
Maybe you posted something that was rude or spiteful, and just realised it after updating your status. You can only hope that your close friends weren’t available online at that time to see that, and that you can delete it. But, in the event that you missed the chance, you may have offended or hurt another person’s sentiments.
In other cases, regret may come in the form of a missed employment opportunity because of some inappropriate or lazy post that may have made the potential employers think otherwise.
Dealing with it: Make a personal apology through a private message if you have hurt someone through your posts. On the whole, try and refrain from over-sharing information on Facebook. Also, don’t get intoxicated and go on Facebook at the same time. Bad combination.
Neglect
There have been reported cases where people have been seen to get violent after an obsessive bout of social networking. Some even forget about their children when on Facebook, some use it while driving. In other cases, this obsession may get you to forget tasks at hand, causing delays and mishaps in your professional and personal life. It can easily lure you and trap you in its virtual world and divert your attention from what is real.
Dealing with it: Facebook addiction disorder is quite real. If you feel that you are marching down that road, or are already suffering from it, please seek help. Identifying the problem is the battle half won. Help yourself, for yourself.
Like various other platforms, Facebook can be both effective and psychologically damaging. In the end, it depends on how we use it.
We could simply use it to stay in contact with friends (which was its primary intent), let its games tingle our neurons, use it to raise awareness -- or let it control and ruin our lives. What do you use Facebook for? Only you can reflect upon and answer that. Good luck!
