We’ve all been bullied at least once in our lives, on some level by some person. Heck, I’d say getting hit by a wildcard draw-4 cards or a skip at UNO (the horrible feeling and frustration definitely counts) is bullying if I never managed to pay back the favour (sweet revenge). But it gets worse. Maybe someone physically pushed you, hurt you, or locked you inside a bathroom for a laugh? Go beyond physical boundaries and bullying still exists, when someone says something hurtful to you, or even offensive or vulgar or sexual. Bullying can happen on all levels, and it can get real ugly. Life isn’t just UNO, you know?
It goes without saying that being a bully is wrong, whether your experience is big or small. It used to be simple physical or mental abuse, but with technological advances and the advent of the Internet and social networking, bullying can’t be so easily defined anymore. Especially with as it has now graduated to "cyber-bullying," where abuse flies via the World Wide Web under a seeming sense of security that is found from being safely hidden behind a computer screen. Real life bullies will do what they do, in reality or in cyberspace, but the Internet makes bullies even out of the best of us. Suppose a bully says something abusive to you on the internet - would you keep quiet and not retaliate when there’s nothing holding you back from doing the same and when there’s nothing to be afraid of? That’s always the question, and the answer is rarely pretty.
And forget abuse, since social media has become our digital diary we privately write our views for everyone else. Anything that isn’t in line with our perspective, we dislike. We even hate. And worst of all, we act out on our disapproval. We may go as far as abusing opinions we don’t like and the people who have them, and they feel the need to do it back; creating a cycle of hate. For example, let’s talk about the multi-colored filters showing up around Facebook. It’s a special filter people can add to their photos to demonstrate their support for the legalisation of equal marriage rights to the LGBT community in the United States. While hundreds of members of the Bangladeshi online community glammed up their pictures with colours (some knowingly while others just thought it looked pretty), it’s not all rainbows and butterflies…literally. Bangladesh being a Muslim majority country has religious online communities that openly oppose homosexuality.
What’s the result? Cyber warfare between liberalists and the religious about a law that already existed in 20 different states in a far away country - from derogatory comments and crude language on rainbow filtered pictures or awareness posts to direct cyber abuse on online profiles - they've done it all. But does liberalism and religiousness have to be on polar ends of this spectrum of hate? Can’t they go hand in hand? Tarannum Sarwat, studied at Cornell University, has an interesting view on this- “Worshipping an idol is a sin in Islam but that doesn't mean Hindu's shouldn't have equal rights. Religion preaches respecting other religions and opinions, it preaches equality. So shouldn’t the LGBT community be treated with the same respect and given the same equality? Can’t we try being both liberal and religious? Respecting the fact that people are different and have different religions, ways-of-being, sexualities and feelings creates a platform where the cycle of hate is broken and people can speak to each other as humans."
However, cyber abuse doesn’t have to stem from controversial or contrasting views. Consider the incident involving prominent Bangladeshi cricketing superstar Nasir Hossain. He shared an innocent picture of him with his sister on his Facebook page and before he knew it he was bombarded by grotesque, disgusting, sick-minded sexual comments, degrading both him and his sister on every level. And there really isn’t a why here, or a reason, or any humanity or logic behind this kind of abuse. Such abuse is essentially evil to the core.
And this is just the tip of the dung heap! Most cyber abuse in Bangladesh is aimed towards females, from cyber-stalking/threatening and humiliating them online to morphing and using cyber-pornography as blackmail. There are numerous cases of morphing, the practice of taking obscene pictures from pornographic websites and photoshopping pictures of innocent girls onto them to blackmail them. There have even been cases where abusers molest/ rape innocent girls and videotape the incident, threatening to make the videos public. The sad part is, this often leads to these women attempting to (and sometimes succeeding in) committing suicide. What’s sadder yet is as access to cyber space and Internet stretches to the nooks and corners of this country, so does cyber abuse, which is even becoming common in rural areas too. The World Wide Web is meant to bring people closer, but this is a little too close for comfort. Unless we tread carefully, put up necessary measures and make sure to not blindly trust someone without knowing the full extent of his/her capabilities, we risk getting tangled with no way out. Mind you, some of those threads may loop right around your head!
Social media connects people, but then it provides a platform to the eve-teasers, the extremists and the conventional bullies to pick on whoever they want and to do more damage than they already have. To quote Tabasser Ahmed (student), “They’re always sitting behind their screens, feeling all so powerful”. The solution here isn’t to fight back, or to try to change them. The solution is to accept that some people will be this way, but to not stoop, to not waver in who we are, no matter how easy it is to fight back. Let’s not be keyboard warriors, because like Albert Einstein once said, “Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding”
The 21st century has so far completely redefined conventional bullying as the only kind. Before, there were the bullies and the bullied, the predator and the prey. Now it’s just like the Toy Story superstar Buzz Light-year would put it: "bullies; bullies everywhere."
CYBER BULLYING QUOTES:
Anindya Banerjee, IBA BBA: “People never think of the impact their words have on lives”
Tanzeem Lodi, Clark University Class of 2019: “It is shameless, relentless guerilla warfare”
Sameem Shahryar, IBA: “The cyber world is totally anonymous, giving attackers the impression that they are untouchable. Sadly, in a country such as BD, where laws on cyber crime are pretty much impossible to implement effectively, these lifeless attackers feast on the opportunity to have their moment where they feel powerful and superior, convincing themselves that others are afraid of them. This sensation of momentary sadistic bliss drives them on, bliss that they cannot find otherwise in their lives”
Shehtaz Chowdhurry, from US: “I always imagine bullies to be insecure.They pick on others to cover up their own insecurities”
