The emphasis exerted on the significance of the eleven lettered word – forgiveness - is amplified during the sacred month of Ramadan. This is not only done to encourage people to mould themselves into ideal, virtuous servants of Allah but also to put forward their foot along the path of spiritual elevation.
People are in no short supply of educative platforms as television networks, radio stations, online websites, mosques, all host informative sessions where reputable Imams preach the need to seek forgiveness from Allah the Al-Ghafur (The All-Forgiving), from those who we have wronged and to be amongst the forgiving. Even though answers to questions like “Why Forgive?” and “How to Forgive?” have been discussed elaborately many a times, we rarely hear about the thought process or the emotional journey associated with liberating the fraction of our soul overcast with anger and resentment - in other words, forgiving. We asked a few people to share their experiences about forgiveness and their feelings throughout the process.
Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned
“One of my classmates used to always bully me and insult me whenever possible,” says Zakir, a tenth grader. “I used to waste an ample amount of time thinking about the witty comebacks I should have made or the ways in which I should have mortified him. One day, I witnessed my bully crying while being berated by his father and decided to videotape the entire thing and make a meme about it when I returned home. To my surprise, I could not click upload. There was an ongoing internal battle between my ego and conscience. A part of me wanted to inflict the same humiliation he caused me while the other felt empathy. After a sleepless night of contemplation, I deleted the video. I never knew how strong I was until I had to forgive someone who was not sorry and accept an apology I never received. I did not waste time harbouring negative energy anymore, rather utilised it for my own personal development from that day onwards.”
“Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned” is a famed quote by Buddha. Like Zakir, one’s journey to spiritual upliftment and self-satisfaction will consist of difficulties and various hardships, including injustice at the hands of others. The finest souls are those who overlook their pain and halt themselves from hurting others.
“My heart ached incessantly, yearning to hug my mother and lock her into my arms forever to once again feel the warmth and love emanating from her body, assuring me that everything was going to be alright. But I could only hold onto her saree to get a whiff of her distinctive smell that never fails to comfort me and sob convulsively,” says Sharmin, a business graduate who has lost her mother to an accident. “I could never forgive myself for blurting out the words ‘I hate you’ or ‘You know what? Maybe I will finally be able to live peacefully once you die’ in anger during several arguments. After she passed away I would lock myself in my room and refuse to eat anything. One day, my sister barged into my room fed up of my behaviour and explained how our mother did not give birth to us to be weak and crumble. She raised strong women and it was high time I started acting like one. I had to accomplish my goals to make my mother proud and in order to do so I needed to forgive myself and move forward,” shared Sharmin.
If there is anything one can take away from Sharmin’s story it is the fact that all we have is now. Do not hesitate to seek forgiveness and forgive because no one knows if you will live to see tomorrow. Do not allow yourself to live a life full of regrets. Hatred, anger and acrimony – be it towards yourself or someone else - will only propel you into a seemingly ceaseless black hole of frustration and despondence.
“The sublime month of Ramadan is not exclusive to fasting, Ibadah, paying Zakat. It is a 30 days long course, teaching us the ways to attain the virtues that cultivate taqwa; forgiveness being among the distinguishing features of this month,” says Sultana Khan, a Hafiza and an Islamic teacher at Jannatul Banat Madrasah. “In fact, in one Hadith it is written that Ramadan is a month whose beginning is mercy, whose middle is forgiveness and whose end is freedom from hellfire. Any of the odd nights of the last ten days of Ramadan could be Laylat al-Qadr, rendered in English as the Night of Decree. On this powerful night the blessings and mercy of Allah are abundant making it the preeminent time to beseech Allah for forgiveness and cleanse our hearts of grudges and rancour by forgiving others.”
“Who spend (in the cause of Allah) during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people - and Allah loves the doers of good” – Surah Ali’ Imran (3:134). In light of the approach of Eid ul-Fitr and the culmination of the holy month of Ramadan let us pray to Allah Almighty that He makes us among those who are forgiven by Him and bestow upon us the strength to graciously extend forgiveness to others.
