We’ve all pretended to sway to Folk Fest performances, we’ve grooved to some jazz and we’ve allowed the world to watch us nae nae as we make it through these music fests #likeaboss. Music, we can pretend to enjoy, no matter how basic (ikr?), but DLF, girlfriends, is an entirely different ball game. We’ve been to many clubs, but ain’t none of that been a book club. It’s finally time for us to climb that last cultural rung to ace our game at Dhaka Lit Fest - the biggest and most fab party of geeks you will ever come across. The marquees are up, the intellectuals are in, the sessions are in full swing and the pressure, ladies, is so real, I just can’t even... After a thorough stalk session through Facebook and some tips from my girlfriends from the dark side, I’ve come up with the ultimate guide to getting your litfest game on.
Bust out that cotton saree
If you want to look like a part of this club, rule number one is to bust out that cotton saree. You want to leave your New Year party gear at home for this one. Yes, even those sky-high heels. If you wanna look naughty, you gotta be a shawty. Complete the look with a jute bag stuffed with notes, pens and if you’re feeling particularly brave - a hand fan. Just remember, you gotta constantly #represent local tradition.
Follow the nude trend
This one’s so easy, you’ll be surprised you haven’t thought of this before. If anyone knows how to ace the “barefaced bae” game, that’s DLF-ers. Minimalistic make-up and barely-there eyeshadow. If you really wanna splurge, go big on the kajal game. Nothing screams character as well as a fierce pair of kohl-lined wings.
Accesorise - with big words or big teeps
Thas right, girlies. As far as accessories are concerned - teeps and bangles are your best friend. Your other best friend? A bangin’ collection of highbrow words. My personal faves are “scintillating” and “illuminating”.
Talk the talk
You’ve got your outfit on point, make-up’s on fleek, jute bags dangling by your side - what next? It’s time to go beyond the surface ladies. This is Lit fest, after all, you can’t just slide over the surface - dig deeper because conversation will always go to dangerous territories (books, writers, discussions and debates!). Word to the wise: pick up a copy of the DLF supplement at the entrance. This, my friends, is your cheat sheet. Try to memorise two or three of the big names in case someone asks you who you’re here to see. If things start to go pear-shaped just remember the ultimate rule - discuss food. If that doesn’t work, wave wildly at a random space behind the person you’re talking to, excuse yourself and run away. This is where those flat shoes will come in handy.
Snap your way to literary glory
With Facebook down, Whatsapp acting like she’s suffering from that time of the month, the only way to make sure you document this right is to use Snapchat. Stash the selfies for later. Begin with scenic photos of the place itself - get that bot gaach in one shot, the celeb in another and obviously make sure you get the bookstores too. Slyly sneak in a few random shots of yourself. Once Facebook is back we can mupload that ish, don’t worry.
You’re welcome. Can I get an amen? #TTYL #stayblessed.
