Q: I am 27 years old and unmarried. One of my friends has been dating a boy
from a very early age, but a few years ago they broke up. Since then, she
has dated several guys. We tried to advise her regarding her ever
shortening relationships but she got upset, and won't talk to us now. She is
becoming a very different person from the one I have known. I know she
will regret it one day, but she won't listen to anything I have to say. Help
me save her from her self destructive ways.
A: I appreciate your concerns for your friend, but I am afraid there is nothing
you can do about it. We all have the right to make mistakes. We wish we
did not, but we do. And out of our mistakes we learn…or we don’t, and we
keep doing the same things until we see the light.
A good friend will tell a friend of her/his concerns. Then, a good friend
should back out, not stop seeing the friend, but be there when the friend
is in pieces and resist saying, "I told you so."
Often we get upset when people do not listen to us, often it has to do more
about us then about them. How? Whatever gets under our skin, belongs to
us. Is this a riddle? No, what we cannot ignore is our issues, we are
touched by unresolved things within ourselves.
