“Kon school e jao baba?”
It all starts with that question, doesn’t it?
It’s that defining moment of your life, when this aunty or that uncle decides whether you’re cultured or uncultured.
Unfortunately, I happen to go to one of the “rich kid” schools where all the teachers are bideshi. The words race across her in bold, like she’s a high definition LED television screen:
Uncultured
Ill-mannered
Beyadop
Indecent.
And there you have it, the complete list of who we are.
The common assumption is that because you go to one of these schools you’re simply taught how to be white. You’re put into a whitewash machine and you come out exactly the same as everyone else -- paint job and all complete. There’s no way to set you back to factory settings.
Cultured and uncultured kids
In this society, year after year, unique girls are stuffed into the same dated mould, where they are raised to be trophies, where if they have a single dent on their shiny surface they’re branded a disgrace.
Because “rich kid” schools aren’t low-key enough, they often get reputations as the schools of “bad kids” -- the failed projects of an otherwise prospering conservative society.
Parties are not seasonal here. At “rich kid” schools you’ll find after-parties for every school related event, with your occasional house party thrown in, where girls relish their only chance to wear skimpy clothes and aspire to whiteness.
Don’t be surprised if you see kids from one of the cultured, non-“rich kid” schools; this is a common occurrence, and invitations go back and forth, because don’t we all secretly want to be a “rich kid”?
Why is it that when all of us do pretty much the same things outside of school, some are deemed whitewashed? Is it because we stand up for ourselves? And yes, that means we defend ourselves, our beliefs, regardless of age or gender.
Is it because we have liberal values, just like every other generation of millennial babies? Where Bangladesh is the fastest growing economy where innovation is topical and technologies advance regularly, why are people expected to be narrow-minded and unaccepting of those with different values?
When criticised from a young age, children come to think that something is fundamentally wrong with them; leaving them stranded between bideshi and deshi
Why the hypocrisy?
The kids from cultured schools are the very same ones that end up going to the “rich kid” schools later in high school, for the “better” diploma. Though transfer and scholarship students are common, the perception is still that these schools judge students by the amount of money in their pockets, which could not be further from the truth.
If anything, it’s these “rich kid” schools that bring in “whitewashed” ideals of trying to enhance the living quality of all types of people in our country and encourage education beyond bookish knowledge, more than your average community and service.
The facade of conservatism
In essence it’s the façade that most are concerned about. Even though most of the kids maintain a similar lifestyle, you are forced to conceal yourself within a larger society.
Despite all schools having the same fundamental teachings of accepting yourself, expressing yourself and being above scrutiny, why do kids who chose to be open with their lives, in turn accepting others who are different, get branded the “bad kids”?
When you believe constant criticism and scrutiny helps maintain your perfectly polished conservative image in society to help marry off your perfectly polished children, you force the kids you criticise to evaluate their self worth.
When criticised from a young age, children come to think that something is fundamentally wrong with them; leaving them stranded between deshi and bideshi, whitewashed and cultured, long after their adolescence.
It’s not a school thing, it’s a people thing
So why is it so difficult for our society to accept the fact that regardless of what school one goes to or who teaches them, the person they become is entirely dependent upon the experiences in their life?
No school teaches you the many aspects of being uncultured, just like no modern, accredited school teaches you how to be cultured. Instead, we’re all taught to be compassionate human beings who care for the world around us and try to make a positive difference in our community.
Suhala Alam is an intern at the Dhaka Tribune.
