All the recent brouhaha over socio political reforms and making society more accountable seemed hollow as we read the heart-wrenching news of the death of four persons of one family in a village in Rajshahi.
Reportedly, the father, one Minarul, 35, killed his wife and two children and then took his own life.
A letter discovered in their home, believed to be written by Minarul, details prolonged financial constraints, the inability to pay the weekly instalment of a loan, and the unwillingness of relatives to provide a helping hand as reasons for the tragic end.
Although the letter does not point the finger at anyone, the lines carry an unmistakable undertone of indignation and cynicism, exposing the ruthlessly predatory society we currently live in.
Minarul’s suicide and the killing of his family compel us to look deeper into social afflictions that are either deliberately ignored or are not given due importance.
While the country, in a post socio-political revolution, aspires to create a more transparent, accountable and non-partisan future, the aberrations plaguing sub layers of rural and urban communities must be brought out in the open.
Suppressed anguish
The line in Minarul’s letter: “no one is responsible for our deaths” may appear to be exonerating all his relatives, but beneath the line is perhaps the anguish of a tormented soul who possibly did not get the right helping hand when needed.
Newspapers covering the heart-breaking incident, alluding to local sources, state that Minarul had been incurring losses in his business ventures over a few years which left him in despair.
On top of this, he allegedly had the habit of gambling.
Whether it was the traditional card based or the recently popular mobile game based type, one may speculate that in an effort to quickly make a profit to recoup earlier business losses, Minarul carried on taking risks.
However, let’s look at the worst scenario: Minarul had always been a gambler -- a habit which wrought havoc with his finances.
The point is, in assessing a person, the common trend is to often underline a vice to vilify him/her. In our obtusely simple black and white definition of a proper social being, we never include the possibility that a person may have a vice or an inner demon but that did not overpower other positive qualities.
There is no concerted attempt to understand and address the grey areas of a person’s life.
Consequently, when imponderables are casually brushed aside, it becomes easy to label someone and remain satisfied with half baked explanations.
Gambler or not, as Minarul wrote in his letter: “...decided to call it quits as we could not tolerate hunger and the pressure of the weekly instalment.”
The moral responsibility of either the loan giving entity or the community he lived in cannot be overlooked.
In rural areas, such loans, with weekly instalments, are common. Sadly, the rules of the payment are reportedly so strict that the person taking the loan is often under immense mental pressure for the payment.
In this case, if the loan provider had relaxed the instalment conditions, the family would have been alive.
Also, we cannot accept that in 2025, when the country has generally overcome hunger, someone should die due to lack of food.
Therefore, the community where Minarul lived is also to blame because it could not help the hapless man deal with his addiction and direct him towards a solution.
In a community, there will be those with hidden vices and others, with open ones. Stigmatizing the ones with visible faults underlines a predatory creed that has insidiously crept into social layers.
An official channel for support is essential
Unfortunately, even 54 years after independence, we haven’t managed to create a comprehensive social system, where a person grappling with personal demons can go to seek counsel without fear of being judged.
Understandably, someone who decides to take the lives of his family and then kill himself must have had his backs against the wall. Such drastic decisions are taken only when the path forward appears totally dark.
In such cases, it’s also the responsibility of the administration of a particular area to ensure that in a desperate situation, someone can ask for help and get fruitful advice.
In the last few weeks, several newspapers, both Bangla and English, ran reports on the rise of mobile phone-based gambling outside Dhaka, sending out a caution about the consequences of such addictions.
While some make money from gambling, a large number fall into debt, often forcing unlucky gamblers to take loans on high interest.
Realistically speaking, the phone-based gambling cannot be stopped but those with addiction can be offered counselling plus support.
We do not know if the family was ostracised or not but there are reports that a request to his father to sell a piece of land and bail him out of the loan was declined.
There may have been several more layers of social ignominy, which will possibly now be buried under grief.
For a long time there has been a call for introducing a separate section or cell at all police stations, featuring psychologists and gender experts to look into the complex social issues affecting people of all ages. This can and should be given priority in the plans to reform the police.
In the letter, the line: “No one is responsible for our deaths; I am writing this because, otherwise, the police may falsely implicate someone” reflects on how the law enforcers are perceived.
That the whole letter was given to the media is, thankfully, a testament to the fact that the police were being transparent in their actions.
The fact remains however that four persons are now dead because, as far as this writer sees, society was too pre-occupied to lend a hand of understanding.
Several editorials have called the deaths a result of the erosion of values whereas some are saying while life has become more comfortable and modern, social bonds are fraying while people become more self-absorbed.
As it may take time to offer professional help through the setting up of special cells at police stations, the mosques can provide help with their Friday sermons and a regular counselling service.
As part of CSR, prominent banks and business houses can engage with mosque authorities by providing specialist support along with financial help.
When we talk of reforms, maybe, there should be discussion as to how we, as social beings, can become more considerate, minimizing our “pound of flesh” approach to life.
Towheed Feroze is a former journalist.
