The big “talk” of moving out was no surprise to my mother. We had been having certain “small talks” before that, for quite some time, prior to my announcement.
Not sure about my mother herself, but my Facebook well-wishers were definitely concerned, thinking that my choice was more of a hasty decision after a fight with my parents.
Well, no. I am quite impulsive from time to time, that’s true, but a decision such as this really took quite a lot of thinking and calculations. I am sure it is the same for any other individual who finally takes that “big step.” But trust me, a fight with parents is never one of the reasons, and it should not be.
Going back to my point, a lot of people I know were worried if I could take care of my relations with my family, once I moved out. Apparently, in our country, you would only leave your parents’ place if you are “selfish.”
I might be. And that’s fine too, because only after this selfish move did I realize what my family meant to me. And probably, just probably, today I am a better and more affectionate daughter than I used to be.
Today, before I buy something for my home, it strikes me twice, “Would Ammu like it more? I haven’t gifted her something in a long time.”
Before going to sleep, knowing who did what at home matters more than planning which workout I will be following the next morning. Staying independent does this to you.
You are more aware, you are more responsible, you value everything more, especially, family. And that is what staying on my own has done to me, as it has done to most of us.
Every day is Mothers’ Day for us, and every hard-working person around reminds us of our dad. Every school-going child reminds us of our little siblings, sometimes even more -- it reminds us of ourselves.
Yes, we are still the same, selfish people. We grow selfish to retain the feelings and emotions that most of us haven’t felt in ages.
We don’t wish to grow out of it.
If there is anything at all that keeps our affection alive in this city of people with no time, we want to hang on to it. And believe me, we maintain that affection. With our busy schedules, we make time for family.
We make time to call up our moms and wish them on their birthdays, we make time to have the first iftar with them. Making the effort matters a lot to self-centred people like us. We do it nonetheless.
We might be the self-centred people that society disapproves of, but trust me, we care for the ones who are close to us.
Ammu’s best-cooked fish and Abbu’s sudden kisses on the forehead. Sisters fighting over new dresses. Yes, we choose to miss it, and we are OK with it.
At the same time, we understand that the time we spend with our loved ones is cherished.
Sanjida Tanny is Founder of Contentier.
