Eyes locked on the laptop screen, smart-phone screens or tabs, it is almost too difficult to have their attention long enough for a five minute face-to-face conversation. Seeing how their hours are spent being at the receiving end of YouTube videos, online games, social media, etc, often makes me wonder if they are missing out on something more significant in life: Human relations.
In effect, when they are to speak to a person in person, they seem awkward -- their speech almost mumbled and sometimes inaudible. Simple things such as conversing with a grand-parent, greeting relatives at a gathering, or carrying their weight in a conversation become a daunting challenge. Love can do many things -- in this case, it makes them mime.
Young, full of potential, and at a vulnerable age, teenagers and children exhibit characteristics and behaviour that make me question their love for technology.
More or less, we all live through that awkward phase in life, courtesy of puberty. The duration of the particular phase varies among individuals, and a few lucky ones manage to salsa through it. Having crossed that period long ago, I still appreciate the constraints and exasperation that stun the sufferers.
When I speak to cousins of that vulnerable age now, I see issues different from what I had faced then, infiltrating the bubbles they live in. Sometimes the awkwardness of the interactions speaks volumes. To them, they are not the victims, because they are unaware of their circumstantial disadvantage. Or am I just unwilling to accept an imminent future void of human interaction and relations?
Eyes still locked.
Sometimes completely zoned in their own world, a bubble of sorts that confines the gadgets, the internet, and friends on social media, they are at times wholly absorbed, with eyes locked and attention consumed, with what is on their beloved screens.
For unavoidable circumstances, God forbid, if they are to be without access to the Internet, they seem to be at some mortal disadvantage. Then their love for technology-based communication and entertainment transcends into something quite unpleasant -- tantrums or forlorn expressions. Indicating that it is not the healthy kind of love, rather it is manic obsession, complete dependence, and outright detrimental behaviour that imprison them to a social media and technology-based life.
Speaking of social media-based life, it is common to observe parents now creating Facebook accounts under the name of their infant or young child. These accounts show the world, through the lens of Facebook, a trail of the child’s activities. I had the (mis)fortune of being curious enough to ask such a parent what exactly the purpose was.
It was a case when curiosity killed the cat, as I struggled not to cringe, but stand upright and listen politely as the parent somewhat bragged about what he thought was a pre-planned constructive decision that will allow his child to become a better “Facebook user.” No, Dad, you are wrong. Children do not need to be “better” Facebook users, they need to be better people.
For the sake of argument, even if the nurturing of humanity in children isn’t really that important, children do not need a push to become familiarised with Facebook and such technology; they will eventually pick up on it with or without your help. Instead, what such parents’ focus on Facebook does is teach the child how one’s life should revolve around Facebook and social media, and how that takes precedence over other actually important things, such as courtesy or manners.
Clearly, what is more disconcerting is the role that parents or the “guardians” play in all this. A child is handed a tab or smart-phone too frequently to quiet him or her down. Is this what is to be considered as a diversion, a quick fix to the problems of parenting? At social gatherings, when the child cries or hinders the parents’ flow of mingling and small-talk, is it really a constructive means to simply hand a child a device that will inevitably consume his or her attention, not only for the duration of that gathering, but for a time much longer?
A social and behavioural phenomenon seen especially in the upper-class or upper-middle class families in urban Dhaka is when a tug at her orna or his shirt automatically gives the child unlimited access to an advanced electronic gadget. It may be amusing from a distance. Think about it, only if more problems could be settled by a shove of an object in the right direction instead of understanding the problem and attempting to actually solve it, we all could have lived in better times. If only temporary solutions are what we seek and only if we can overlook the severe consequences in the long run.
Eyes locked and tongue-tied too.
Undoubtedly, children now are more equipped to operate many electronic devices, which have their own benefits. But are we so oblivious to their disadvantages? Interest in outdoor activities may be too much to expect, but what about striking up a conversation? Is it the lack of interaction with people that push them to live an anti-social existence within the confines of electronic screens? Does the assistance of parents and others they receive in this regard make it so difficult for them to articulate their opinions and thoughts and communicate with people in person?
Their incessant love for technology has segregated them so much in terms of physical activity and familial interactions that one may worry that the apathy they seem to project so vividly can lead to the creation of a generation that is too self-absorbed to care for the greater good. It is unsettling, to say the least, to see children transfixed and consumed wholly in virtual reality -- where characters in games matter more than the people in their lives, where activity on Facebook means more than what happens in their own house. A lot depends on the move of a cursor and their electronic life-lines seem to have become an integral part of their lives, if not their whole lives.
Their incredible love for technology and simultaneous lack of interest in everything else may create severe problems and consequences, sooner rather than later. Can we not see the slow decay in their ability to speak to one another? We may live in a time when human interaction may as well be completely based on virtual communication, but is this era the transitional stage, or are we raising children prematurely adapted to a tech-savvy lifestyle?
Eyes locked, tongue-tied, and socially awkward -- that is what the tech-savvy love does for your child.
