On the April 17, the Dhaka Tribune printed my opinion piece, “Learn to respect women,” in which I tried to delve into how the concept of shame that is prevalent in our society with regards to the naked human body, the sex act, and the lack of sexual education from an appropriate age, has brought out perversity in the minds of the menfolk and has made women vulnerable members of society. This, time, however, I will try to enumerate the ways in which the overall sexual harrassment situation can be improved.
Rape is the ultimate form of violation meted to a woman; it crosses our definitions of sexual harassment and becomes a crime at par with murder and other heinous crimes. Rape victims face numerous problems and are stigmatised for life. The rapist, even if caught red-handed, somehow escapes punitive action, largely due to the patriarchal bias that plagues our society.
And the raped, if she is unmarried, will be hard-pressed to find a “suitable boy” for marriage. And, as is common with victims of sexual harassment, more often than not, the victim is blamed and faces censure.
A very sad case (or cases) in point: The victims of rape in our War of Independence. The women abused by the Pakistani army and their local allies, the women we call “birangona,” get recognition and a few words or some petty cash on various special days, but are mostly forgotten the rest of the time. Big words have never translated into big attempts at their restitution.
Besides, these women -- not all, but a great majority -- had to wear their “loss of virtue” as a stigma, and even their near and dear ones would not welcome them into their households with open arms, and society pointed them out, mercilessly, as “fallen” women. Their stories are probably the saddest legacy of the pains we suffered during that most glorious of our achievements as a nation -- our independence.
Punishing rapists in the court of law is tricky business. There is almost never an eye-witness and mostly, if ever a rape case comes to court, its outcome hinges on circumstantial evidence, making it difficult to punish the criminal. Additionally, a rape victim will have to undergo a medical test within 24 hours of the rape, which is another hurdle, as the police in our country are found to be dillydallying about. This is an example of the patriarchal system we live in, oppressing women and depriving them justice.
There is now a demand for a provision of “attempt to rape” in the penal code. Even if such a law were to be inducted into the penal code, it won’t be of much use to the victims. In the absence of eye-witnesses, these cases may become a matter of “he said/she said.” But if there is any possibility of improvement, bring on the provision.
The matter of sexual harassment, not rape per se, is faced by women from a very early age, way before puberty, and one will be hard-pressed to find a woman who has not this demeaning experience. Little girls going to school or walking about in an amusement park or in close proximity to men in a queue are often mercilessly groped.
The groper skidaddles away, high on perversion, and the groped is scarred for life. The negative effects of being groped as a child makes a woman suspicious of all men and the culture of impunity that exists for gropers stops her from reporting it.
The sexual harassment continues for the girl-child through her teens and into her 20s and 30s and does not stop until she is an old lady of vastly diminished physical allure. Young girls and women going to schools, colleges, and universities face harassment from teachers and other students.
Even if they can stand up to classmates and give a much deserved slap or two, they are often helpless against the higher-ups who are hell-bent on sexual aggression. They can take action against errant teachers only if they get the co-operation of their male colleagues.
In workplaces, the situation is no better. Men often make remarks laced with sexual overtones and get away with it. Women are often groped, shoved, pushed, and their bodies, not so accidentally, brushed, or worse, as they walk the streets or wait for the bus. This sort of behaviour is present in every realm of public space.
A very slim minority of women scream and shout at such ghastly “manly” behaviour; most suffer in silence. The Bengali woman is raised to become virtuous, and staying demure is a big part of that “education.” Some women have got it into their heads that wearing the hijab is a sure way of averting cat-calls or saving the orna from getting snatched.
Recently, I read the story of a devout woman who had been sexually harassed in her office; she was hijab-clad at the time. Wearing the hijab to stop from getting sexually harassed is a defeatist attitude and will not stop the marauding “men” from doing what they did at TSC on Pohela Boishakh. However, I respect a woman who wears the veil purely as a religious edict -- to each his or her own faith.
The deputy commissioner of police in charge of media matters declared in no uncertain terms that the police deems as sexual harassment even acts such as a suggestive stare or remarks that smack of sexual misbehaviour. But I fail to see the police being rigorous in implementing these policies. No wonder, then, that women seldom turn to the law for protection.
How can we change this deplorable state of affairs?
Some women’s rights groups are raising hell after the untoward incidents during Pohela Boishakh, and rightly so. This is an opportunity to bring the issue to the fore. Women have faced enough and they deserve a vast improvement in the way they are treated, everywhere they go, be it for education, work, amusement, or shopping. The government should stand beside them with the full support of the administration. The prime minister, several cabinet ministers, the speaker of the house, and the opposition leaders, both official and unofficial, are women. The battling begums of our politics should unite in this issue, at least.
At the time of our independence and the first two decades after that, the population boom could not be supported by the meagre resources of a country trying to grapple with the aftermath of a bloody war. But then the government of the day and the subsequent ones launched massive family planning awareness and implementation programs with support from donor agencies. Since then, we have reduced the growth in population significantly.
The taboo of talking about sex and contraceptives was broken by health officials and volunteers who went to the farthest and remotest villages to create awareness. I see no reason why such large-scale programs cannot be launched to fight the scourge of sexual harassment. A few posters about “eve-teasing” and a small advert or two on television will not suffice.
The government needs to empower the local governments and employ experts to impart knowledge to the field workers whom the upazilla or union parishads will employ. A country that aims to be a middle-income one by 2021 should not have any dearth of funds for this country-wide operation. It needs initiative from the people in power. The clerics will also need to be trained with regards to the correct and acceptable social behaviour; people listen more to them than even their family elders.
Some apparently unpopular steps need to be taken but there can be no equivocation about taking them.
The concept of shame has to be taken out when it comes to educating our children. Adults need to learn to behave as well. If one sees one’s father showing utter disdain towards women, one is wont to follow in those footsteps.
We all need to grow up and acknowledge the elephant in the room. Meanwhile, the perpetrators like those at TSC, should be punished to the fullest extent of the law. However, that would only be treating a symptom; the disease that needs immediate attention is in our minds. If we stop at the symptom, the disease simply goes merrily along.
