Do you know the names of the people living next door to you? Assuming that you live in the city of Dhaka, in one of those countless apartments in the urban sprawl, my best guess is that you do not.
What if I ask: “How many times have you spoken to them?” Your reply will most likely be “once or twice,” or, in most likelihood, “never.”
We know so many people on Facebook, but so few of our next-door neighbours.
This aloofness that is inherent in city life invites comparison with life in villages, where people know the names, occupations, and in some cases, even the ages, of almost all the inhabitants in the neighbourhood.
They also know quite a few people living in adjacent villages, which are some distance away.
On special occasions, such as wedding receptions, villagers talk not only to those they know very well, but also to those they think they know, asking them if they are the sons or daughters of so-and-so.
When they meet fellow villagers at the bazaar or on the road, they do not forget to inquire after them and have a little chit-chat.
This is in marked contrast to life in Dhaka city, where the occupants of an apartment have only a vague idea of the people occupying the adjoining apartments. Even in cases when they know their nearest neighbours, they avoid small-talk when they come across each other, for example, while boarding or getting off the lift, or when climbing the stairs.
For adults in the city, much of the socialising happens at the office, at the cafeteria, or outside the office building. For adolescents and youths, who are generally better at mixing with other people, much of the interaction happens on campus, between classes.
In other words, city-dwellers tend to socialise only when they have to step out of home.
Outside the office or off campus, only a handful of occasions warrant socialising. Among these occasions are Eid, new year celebrations, wedding parties, and birthday bashes.
Now, what can possibly be the reason for such aloofness in people inhabiting this mega-city?
The first reason that comes to my mind is modern electronic gadgets, which, by the way, are also responsible for a sharp decline in the amount of reading people do.
Electronic devices like smartphones, tablets, and laptops have a lot in store to keep adults and children sitting in their homes for hours on end.
Music and movies aside, they can immerse people in the addictive world of social networking and video games, among other things.
It is very easy to fall in love with these gadgets and spend hour after hour lazing around at home. For many people, nothing else can beat boredom or loneliness like these gadgets.
Another reason city people are reluctant to mingle with neighbours is a lack of trust, which is perhaps not without good reason.
Rape, doping, kidnappings, muggings, and so on, are rife in the city, and are reported in the media with almost metronomic regularity.
Whatever the reasons behind city-dwellers not wanting to socialise with neighbours, we should remember that relationships with our closest neighbours humanise us. Therefore, these relationships should be nurtured by human interaction.
We should remember that, even though our lifestyle has changed at the hands of the Internet and new technology, meaningless bits of conversation can actually make life more meaningful.
