Everyone’s on a constant hate rampage – hating on our country, hating on Facebook, hating on cricket wins and even hating on ourselves. There’s always so much to say, we’re constantly struggling to make our voices heard. With so many platforms to hate, turning up the volume has turned into a race of sorts. Some do it in all CAPS with tweets, others shout their opinions to anyone who’ll listen while the rest resort to carefully thought out status updates. As much as we love to hate haters, we cannot help but admit that they do leave us feeling easily amused with their innocent arrogance and their cute attempts at legitimising their opinions. Although we’re all just rolling in the hate some of us cannot help but take a step back and really appreciate what’s going on here. The truth of the matter is: haters gonna hate. What better way to ride this tide than to sit back, appreciate and enjoy the many ways in which haters give us reason to laugh. This week we shift the focus on the top five kinds of haters that we love to hate. From the femnazis to the social media hater to the ultimate music snobs, we’ve got them all covered.
The social media hater
These haters form the cream of the crop – constantly hating, tweeting, commenting and updating Facebook statuses, there’s no one who knows how to troll your newsfeed better than them. Stuck in traffic? Expect a paragraph long hate status update thrashing the country’s traffic police. If thats doesn’t get enough attention, expect a more exaggerated version of that post on DSD (after all, they ARE desperately seeking). Had a bad day at work? Expect them to tweet trash about their co-workers. Friend “betrayed” them? Think cryptic statuses that end with “you know who you are.” For them, life is a constant struggle, the world a mean, mean place and their mission to lighten the load by sharing the dismal details of their life with the world. There’s only one truth we wish they knew: nobody cares.
The feminist hater
Feminist haters are probably the most active, passionate bunch of the lot. They are so inherently pro-female they make sure that no matter where they are and what they’re doing, they will manage to steer the conversation to feminism and their part in this life-threatening situation. One moment you’re discussing how great it is to see them, next they are giving you reason to take that right back. This ever growing breed of female is now on the rise, making their presence felt with raging status updates, angry comments and even sporadic speeches. For them, my friends, it is always that time of the month. Holding the bizarre belief that life owes them something for being female - they aren’t for gender equality, rather they’re all about gender superiority. One conversation with these femnazis and you’d be wishing you were born under the blessings of a third gender.
The obnoxious music haters Ever since the rise of YouTube and the advent of Internet, many have taken a liking to dipping their beaks into the different, obscure genres of music to help label themselves as music connoisseurs. Once they have done so, they make it a point to take their music snobbery to obnoxious levels by dissing anyone who doesn’t share the same taste. They may secretly enjoy Taylor Swift or break a leg to the latest Bollywood item number, but god forbid, if they admit it. Usually always claiming to be the first ones to discover their favourite bands, no one is as great a fan as them and certainly no one understands music as well as they do.
The PDA hater These kind of haters range from the ages of 21 and above and usually consist of women and men who are exceedingly unhappy with their lives. Every time there is a happy married couple canoodling on their timeline, or better still, a baby’s journey documented through a timeline – they will hate. They hate public displays of affection and they sure as hell hate the stream of baby photos that take up new mom profiles. While we do agree that sharing every potty stained step of your child’s life may get annoying, these haters take it to a whole new level. Let’s also not forget that any married couple photo that is suggestive of a happy marriage is obviously a gimmick. These cynical haters find the smell of deception on anything that looks like success.
The impossible-to-please hater
The oblivious hater is the ultimate example of killjoy. Not easily amused, nothing and no one impresses them. You got a promotion? No biggie, they got one last year. You’re planning a cross-Asia tour? They go on Euro trips every year. Climbed the Everest? So did several other men. These haters are oblivious to the world around them and never find any success to be an accomplishment worthy of their acknowledgement. Impossible to please, dealing with these sanity-stealers can leave deep dents in your self-esteem. They are the prime example of wet-blankets who constantly spoil other people’s fun or dowse their excitement with carefully calculated negativity. The best and probably only way to steer clear of these is to avoid them and avoid them completely.
