MARS COLONY: BHOLA & HATIYA RESIDENTS WILL BE ON FIRST MISSION
According to NASA estimates, the first Mars colony expedition will complete in eight years. The new colony that will be established in this process has been named “Milippipping Khruk.” The mission leader, West Bengal’s Nobel laurate scientist Professor Shonku, is supervising all aspects of the colony. The UN Climate Change fund will cover the majority of the costs for the inaugural mission.
In the first mission, climate-change-displaced residents of Bhola and Hatiya will get priority. They will be accompanied by Sri Lankan contractors, Indian computer scientists, and Norwegian consultants...
...However, some Bangladeshi scientists have expressed concern that displaced Bangladeshis not be used as ‘guineau pigs’ in this first attempt at planetary colonization. In particular, many have expressed reservation about the role of the Norwegian consultants. According to our local bureau, the UN had initially tabled a proposal to relocate climate change refugees from southern Bangladesh to Europe. The Mars colony project came as a counter-proposal to that initiative. According to a UN representative, “There are no crowds on Mars, all of you will live happily there.”
INDIAN MARKET FLOODED WITH SMUGGLED BANGLADESHI COWS
The Murshidabad district of India is facing major depression in its local cow market. On being asked the reason, the central government promptly held a press conference and announced that smuggled cows from Bangladesh have imploded the Indian market.
… Minister, who spoke off-the-record, said that Bangladeshi cows smuggled into India have caused artificial meat imported from China to be badly bit on the demand side. The Chinese government retaliated against Bangladesh’s communist government by pressuring Indian government to erect a border wall to block cow smuggling.
Not only for artificial meat, the entire Chinese economy is now under threat due to unchecked smuggling from Bangladesh. Friendly nation China’s request to erect a border wall is being considered, said government spokesperson. The right-wing parties have held a rally accusing the government of being a stooge of China.
500 NEW WORDS ADDED TO BANGLA DICTIONARY
Bengali language dictionary has recently gone through a major overhaul, with the addition of 600 new words. Of these new entries, 60% are what used to be categorized as ‘slang.’ This step was taken to make the dictionary an attractive item to the young generation.
Among the words that have been added, some of the highlights are ‘djuice,’ ‘jhakas,’ ‘abar jigai,’ ‘para khawa,’ ‘chotpoti-fication,’ ‘farm murgi,’ ‘ad culture,’ ‘capri,’ ‘golmele,’ ‘rasta mapa,’ ‘boomerang tanki,’ ‘salu,’ ‘fight dilam,’ ‘ulta tyana,’ ‘chips,’ etc.
… However some outraged critics are claiming that this will cause wholesale loadshedding in Bengali language. Concerned quarters have asked, what would Rabi(ndranath) Babu think if he were alive today? But the thing is, he is not alive .
