As students, we spend most of our days cramped up in a boxed up room (read prison). Dreams shatter and hopes die as we discover, within those walls, the reality of this world. But hey! At least we don’t have to do it alone. We have our equally oblivious comrades.
The to-do-lists: Have you ever felt an overwhelming pang of hatred just at the sight of someone? Like their sheer existence is giving you allergies? You haven’t? Then you probably haven’t met these folks. The to-do-lists make your life more miserable than it already is. When you’re staring at the clock anxiously for the class to end at 3:30pm, they are the people who ask a confusing, elaborate question to the teacher at 3:29pm. They remind the teachers about forgotten quizzes, they advise them to take more tests. You hate them with a passion you didn’t know a human being could possess.
The latecomers: They’re the most determined and consistent students in the classroom. Without fail, they manage to be late for every single class. Teachers have tried lecturing them, punishing them, even asked them to not come to class again. But the latecomers do show up, and they show up late.
The runway models: Prada bag? Check. Jimmy Choo shoes? Check. Hair on point? Check. Butt-load of makeup at 8am classes? Double check. Every time one of these walk into the classroom, your self-esteem, along with your nerd glasses, shatter. Their faces look brighter than your future. Even if they are outnumbered by girls, the guys of this category, with their branded shoes, shades, belts, and well everything, are not bad at show-stopping either. While some of them might not talk-the-talk, they sure do know how to walk-the-walk.
The know-it-alls: Easiest way to spot one of these is when you finally scrape up all your courage to ask a question in class, and the teacher has barely gotten a sentence out in response. The ones who interrupt him/her acting like they are the ones with the PhD, are the know-it-alls. It is absolutely crucial for them to point out the fact that they’re better than everyone else. Don’t you just want to stab them in their smug faces or something? Or maybe it’s just me.
The clueless: These people have mastered the arts of staring at walls for prolonged periods of time, pretending to listen and sleeping with their eyes open. Lectures about the reproduction system might end up with them asking, “Wait! So they’re not just found wrapped up in a blanket outside your door? My mother’s story about where babies come from, was a lie?” If they manage to find the right classroom, or finally get the course name right, don’t forget to give them a medal.
The future teacher’s assistants: Working hard or actually studying for grades isn’t really working out for them. So what else is there? Buttering up the teacher of course! The faculty’s tie might look like goblin-vomit mixed with hints of rat excreta, but in the eyes of these people, it’s the most chic piece of clothing ever to have existed. They stalk the teacher on every social networking platform possible. Starting from the teacher’s marital status to the information on their LinkedIn profiles, the future TAs know it all.
The blue moons: Classes have started in January but the first time you catch a glimpse of them is around mid-February. Eating expired nachos might be on their priority list, but attending classes sure as hell isn’t. Chances are, they are retaking this course, so they might show up for one or two exams, write giberish and walk out like they’ve better things to do. They probably do.
The groupies: Being alone? They haven’t heard the word. They are the ones who sit all cluttered together in a classroom and talk non-stop about their daily life dilemmas, which is unquestionably more important than anything the teacher is lecturing on. They eat together, take the same classes, rant about the same problems, and of course, bully the same people.
