Hi, I have been dealing with an issue for the last few months. I have noticed that my wife is not interested in me anymore. She seems aloof and does not even want to get intimate with me anymore. I have tried talking to her but nothing helps. I think the reason for it may be the fact that I am much older than her. Our age gap is of about 9 years and I am afraid that it is taking a toll on our relationship now. Things had been smooth for the first five years of our marriage but now things are not working out anymore. Slowly slowly she is losing interest and won’t admit it. Please tell me what I can do about it.
Hellow there, I understand your concern and worry, but your difference of age has nothing to do with what is going on. Most marriages go through what you are experiencing, and what is important is communication. Communication is not about telling someone off or complaining; it is about sharing how you feel without blaming the other. Here's how to go about it:
Tell your wife: "When you do this I feel sad," rather than saying "YOU make me sad."
"I would like to know what are your concerns, your pain or what you think would improve our situation," as opposed to "YOU have everything, I can’t understand your problem."
Remember what you were like when you used to court? Women like the small touches, for example:
Ask her to go for a walk with you and have an ice-cream
Come home with a rose
Make morning tea and serve it to her in bed
Be patient and loving. Anger and bitterness do not magnetise a relationship: they destroy it.
Our Agony Aunt is a Life Coach and Relationship Coach as well as a Corporate and Organisational Consultant. AA lives and works in Bangladesh but travels extensively around the world to give seminars and to see her clients.
