The Captain Obvious
Everything is shaking. Unless there is some kind of paranormal activity at play, it is most likely an earthquake. But these people, Captain Obvious as we are calling them, will make it a point to call you up, text you and use whatever method they can use to let you know that an earthquake just occurred. You totally wouldn't have known if it wasn't for them, would you?
The Courage
Even an earthquake not strong enough to shake a leaf off a dead tree will cause these people to run for their lives. They will panic and scream and make you worry about your apparent nonchalance. If you think you don't know any belonging to this category, next time an earthquake strikes, just look down your window at the congregation in the street below. Yup it's them, the chickens. In the most reductive terms, if they have to choose between fight or flight, they will almost always go for the latter.
The YOLO
“Oh yeah! The ground is shaking. Buildings are crashing, people are dying. But no biggie. I am good. Imma take selfies, nay, “quakefies” and break the internet yo!” Unfortunately, we all have at least one of these in our Facebook friend-lists. All hell may break loose but they will first take a selfie. They will be insensitive to such a potentially fatal issue and will poke fun at whoever shows the least bit of concern.
The Mother Teresa
These kind souls are the modern renditions of Mother Teresa. Expect a panicked phone call from them as soon as the earthquake subsides to know about your whereabouts. They will kindly ask you how you handled the whole thing and if you are unhurt. Then, they will move on to check up on the many others on their list. Best part is they do this only out of the goodness of their heart. Thank God for people like them who restore faith in humanity!
The Blank Space
And then there are those who don't have a care in the world for what's going on. Earthquake shaking everything up - meh. They don't feel scared, they don't feel amused; they feel nothing. If you happen to know them, do ask what medication they are on. Don't worry, they won't do anything to you. They'll just stare at you blankly, blink once or twice, and get lost in their own little world again.
The Badass
The badasses will only do the one thing they are capable of - bullying. You show concern for a grave situation, bam! You are on their hitlist. You don't show any concern and go around taking selfies because you are just cool like that, kabam! You will still end up on their hitlist. Situations such as these only present opportunities to the badasses to show that they deserve to be called so. No wrath of God or nature is enough to shake them up. Swoon before them you fools! Or not.
The Usuals
Of course there are some who don't exhibit any signs of abnormalities. They do just what is expected of them. If the situation demands it, they get scared. If there's nothing to worry about, they don't worry. They just calmly go with the flow. Boring!
