Only parents can play the main role in bringing a major change in the upbringing of their children who are confined inside the box of a home,said participants of a Boithoki roundtable hosted by Bangla Tribune at its office in Dhaka on October 26. The roundtable, titled ‘Char Deyale Bondi Shoishob’ and moderated by journalist Munni Saha, was telecast live on ATN News and Bangla Tribune’s official Facebook page
Urban childhood barely allows connection with nature
Addressing the Boithoki, Bangla Tribune Editor Zulfiqer Russell referred to a recent research and said that children’s access to nature has become severely limited in the urban societies.
“In urban areas, childhood is often spent confined. They barely get to see the sky. They are growing up without any social bonding. Moreover, they do not get to socialise with their peers and that leads to them growing up without learning the social norms,” he said.
“A research conducted in Dhaka recently has found that 83% children want playgrounds in their neighbourhoods, 73% want cultural organisations and 76% want parks. Also, 3% children demanded libraries and 2% have asked for a zoo.”
Zulfiqer further said: “Another research has showed that 64% children do not have playgrounds at their schools in Dhaka city while 67% children have no playgrounds in their neighbourhoods. Also, 37% children play inside their homes and 29% do not even play at all, while 47% children spend most of the time every day watching television at home.”
Blaming illegal commercial constructions and land grabbing for the lack of playgrounds, he said many other factors were also affecting the urban childhoods, such as excessive consumption of junk foods.
“As there are no playgrounds, we, parents, are taking our children to a shopping mall where they can at least play in the kids’ zone, which is surrounded by fast-food stores. As they are getting habituated to junk food, they are getting less nutrition and developing health issues,” Zulfiqer added.
Society is forcing children into confinement
Rasheda Rawnak Khan, a lecturer at Anthropology Department of Dhaka University, said: “We always keep our children under strict conditions, monitoring them. A lack of playgrounds and cultural institutions is the reason behind them facing such a situation.”
“In addition, we are also not sending our children outside due to security reasons. The society is forcing them to stay in an atmosphere of confinement. We, the guardians, are so helpless in this regard,” she added.
Rasheda said children have the tendency to follow their parents. “The child wants to do what its parents are doing. Moreover, the child wants to try out the things the parents have made forbidden. That’s why the parents should have the mentality to give their child freedom.”
Talking about technology, the teacher said: “We parents have become excessively reliant on technology and are failing to give adequate time to our children. But this needs to change. At least two days in a week must be kept for children’s only.”
Parents feel compelled to keep their child at home
Speaking at the roundtable, Prof Md Tazul Islam of the National Institute of Mental Health and Hospital said parents feel compelled to confine their children at home.
“Back in the 30s, European parents used to put their toddlers in glass boxes outside their homes, thinking the kids were being raised in the nature. They also thought that their children were safe in that box as they could not go anywhere. Our present situation is much like that time period,” he said.
The psychiatrist said: “We are keeping our children inside the four walls. The parents are often left with no other option as they are too busy to spend enough time with the kids.” He also blamed technological advancements of electronic devices and their excessive use for the situation.
“Parents in our society often lack proper information and training of childcare. The three important factors when it comes to childcare are - accepting and associating with the child; maintaining rational demand or control for maturity, and providing the opportunity to develop its potential through assessment of the child’s independence. If the parents can keep these three things in balance, then child development will be good,” added Prof Tazul.
He further said: “A child needs to be taught how to be responsible for its own actions, but that does not mean parental supervision in not needed. They need to be guided, not dictated.”
Trying to give something similar to our childhood
Sharing his opinion at the Boithoki, musician Rahul Ananda said since his childhood was quite different from his child’s one, he and his wife always try share bits and pieces as much as they can from their childhood with their child to experience.
As a parent, Rahul, front-man of urban folk group Joler Gaan, said he wanted to give his child the same experiences from his childhood. “But that is impossible. To try and give my child something similar at the very least, I have live with my family in a place where my kid can see a little green, enjoy rain and play in the mud. Both my wife and I support this.”
He also said that he felt mental development was also needed while his child was becoming older and taller. “As the child grows up, it is bound to face the hardships of life, which is important too. But once the childhood is gone, it’s gone forever. The joy of childhood is a different experience.”
Are we making our homes enjoyable for children?
Nobonita Chowdhury, editor of private television channel DBC News, said: “We cannot send our children to playgrounds even if we want to as the schools do not have them. We are forced to keep them at home, inside the four walls.”
“But is that enough to help the children grow up naturally? Are we making this life enjoyable enough for them?” she asked.
Nobonita continued: “When we grew up between the 80s and 90s, not all of us could go out and play in our neighbourhoods. Some of us did not willingly, while many were not allowed. There were others who did not even visit their grandparents. So, many of us grew up within four walls even then. But, now we cannot send our children out to play even if we want to, only because the schools do not have playgrounds.”
“We have to know whether we are making it fun and joyous for our children as they live within four walls. We also should think whether, as guardians, we are giving enough time to the children.”
She said: “Many people observe Independence Day and International Mother Language Day while staying in their homes these days. They organise various indoor programmes for their children. This is how they are trying to make life enjoyable, and diversified for their children even within the four walls. If it’s done properly, something is better than nothing.”
