Hidden Figures actor Taraji P. Henson recollected her mental health struggles throughout the ‘dark’ 2020 in an episode of Facebook Watch series, Peace of Mind with Taraji, on December 23.
The 50—year-old actor revealed that she bought a gun and entertained thoughts of ending her life with it.
"During this pandemic, it's been hard on all of us, and I had a moment. I had a dark moment. I was in a dark place. For a couple of days, I couldn't get out of the bed, I didn't care,” Henson said.
“That's not me. Then, I started having thoughts about ending it. It happened two nights in a row," she added.
The Oscar nominee admitted having isolated herself and finally seeking help from a friend.
"I just didn't care. I felt myself withdrawing. People were calling me. I wasn't responding. I didn't care. Finally, I'm talking to one of my girlfriends and I knew I was smart enough to say 'I have to say it.'”
"So one day I just blurted it out to my girlfriend. She called me in the morning and I was like, 'you know I thought about killing myself last night. Oh my god, I feel so much better. I'm not gonna do it now’,” she added.
"At first, it was like, I don't want to be here. And then I started thinking about going and getting the gun. And that's why when I woke up the next morning, and I blurted it out. Because I felt like after a while it was going to take over me and it was going to become a plan because that's how strong my brain is. Our thoughts … They're that powerful.”
Taraji P Henson is the first African-American woman to bag a Critics' Choice Television Award for Best Actress in a Drama Series for her role of Cookie Lyon in the Fox drama series Empire. She also received an Academy Award nomination for her performance in David Fincher’s The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.