Antara Akhtar is 19 years old. She was married off at the age of 14 and has given birth to two children in her five years of marriage. Living as part of the sprawling joint family in Gaibandha’s Saghata did nothing to ease her struggles.
Not only did she have to look after her children, but also assist her husband with farm work as well as handling all the household tasks.
“My health deteriorated as I worked all day, and I began to grow irritated. I was very angry with my husband and his family. I couldn’t do anything, and in moments of rage, the only outlet was my son. There were terrible days when I would slap him repeatedly,” said Antara.
However, in the past year, she has found that her anger at her helplessness has abated, largely due to a breathing exercise which was an unintended consequence from a program on children’s development.
The Championing Play project, funded by LEGO Foundation and organized by Save The Children Bangladesh, focused on parental skills to improve the physical, linguistic, social, and cognitive well-being of children. Breathing techniques were taught as part of the monthly sessions.
“We nearly collapsed from laughter when they asked us to breathe. But now we know just how much it helps us,” Antara added.
According to Prof Tajul Islam at the National Institute of Mental Health, if done correctly, breathing exercises are extremely effective for relaxation.
“We recommend this breathing exercise as a primary approach to those who come to us with various problems such as depression and anger. It is a form of meditation. The body calms the mind, various hormones are released, and the hormones are balanced if done properly, resulting in mental stability.”
Bobita, a 25-year-old, said her husband would often beat her if he had a rough day at work. If the violence woke her children, then her in-laws would blame her. In these helpless moments, she would take out her frustrations on her children as well.
“I would hit my babies and cry, knowing full well they did nothing wrong and I am only hurting my precious baby,” she said.
Professor Tania Haque of Dhaka University's Department of Women and Gender Studies told Dhaka Tribune such situations are seen in both rural and urban areas, though more common in the former. Many women are victims of domestic work pressure and family violence, as well as verbal and physical abuse at the family level. Not only husbands, in-laws are also among the abusers and it is common for the women to beat their children out of the stress. This has been going on for many years in Bangladesh.
“Violence against both women and children is wrong, but it is embedded in our culture through a cycle or chain,” she added.
At least 1,000 women from 45 villages in Gaibandha district’s Saghata and Muktinagarupazila claim breathing exercises have helped improve their mental well-being and cut down on punishing their children. Every month, residents of the villages meet two or three times and discuss their problems in a supportive environment. The project trained over 9,900 parents with essential skills.
Mostofa Moin Ur Rahman, senior officer of the project, said over 10,000 children received gift bags containing 14 educational toys to encourage children to play by emphasizing the key features of games, such as fun, exploration, and problem-solving. It helps children identify colors, count numbers, boost their imagination and enhance their focus on specific activities.
Mothers are taught about early childhood care and development, which helps in the overall development of the child. The project has positively impacted 45,000 children, and the initiative worked in 176 schools across 45 villages in the district.
The project ran from July 2022 to August 2023, he added.
Now Rumi, a 24-year old mother of two, recites poems and sings songs to her children to augment their cognitive development and brighten their imagination. She teaches her 4-year-old daughter about consent and inappropriate physical contact, as well as about valuing responsibility and creativity, instead of shouting at her.