Six months ago, I broke up with my ex of three years. Although we broke up on very bad terms, I can’t help but feel like I still love him. He was abusive, manipulative and a psychopath. At worst, he would restrict me from doing anything and everything, doubted me all the time and treated me like dirt. When we were alone and doing things by ourselves, the world seemed like the perfect place. Sometimes I feel that it is my loss that we broke up, that maybe I should have listened to him and still think I could have changed him bit by bit. I can’t get over this feeling but I want to.
Oh my dear girl, the world is made of bad marriages because of girls like you, who believe "they" can change men. The man you marry is the man you get: what you do not like before marriage will not be changed by you. Marriage is about concentrating on what you like about the person, and what you do not like, if it is not too bad, you ignore. After all, no one is perfect and your husband would have to learn to love you as you are. Be real; your introduction of him to me, is not at all positive. Breath out and know the pond is full of fish; do not concentrate on the fish that escaped!
Our Agony Aunt is a Life Coach and Relationship Coach as well as a Corporate and Organisational Consultant. AA lives and works in Bangladesh but travels extensively around the world to give seminars and to see her clients