Raising children as single mothers comes with unique difficulties, particularly in the social reality of Bangladesh where they have to battle various obstacles very often.
Studies have revealed that more than 54% of Bangladeshi single mothers experience psychological problems. These challenges encompass work-related stress, social barriers, and financial strain.
According to recent research, 44.2% of married women raise children alone due to the death of their husbands, 34.60% face divorce, and 21.20% due to extramarital affairs, second marriages, and physical abuse. Among these single mothers, 17.3% work as domestic workers to support their families.
The constant stress faced by these women undoubtedly impacts their children's mental well-being. The absence of either parent during a child's early years can disrupt their world and impact their mental development.
The situation also raises a critical question: to what extent do their children bear the burden of separate stressors? Dhaka Tribune has undertaken an exploration of these issues.
A joint survey conducted by the Department of Health's Non-Communicable Diseases Branch and the World Health Organization (WHO) discovered that 13.6% of children between the ages of 7 and 14 in Bangladesh suffer from mental illnesses. Tragically, many of these children do not receive the necessary treatment due to societal taboos surrounding mental health.
Stories of resilience and struggle emerge from single mothers like Amena (pseudonym), raising her son Amin, 16, alone. Amin's father vanished shortly after his birth, leaving Amena no choice but to leave her child with her mother in their village home while she sought work as a housekeeper in Dhaka.
As Amin grew older, he grappled with his father's absence. Amena shared: "The boy's father left us when he was young. It seems he might have married someone else."
Amena expressed concern when asked about her son's mental condition, saying: "He is very stubborn. I wanted him to focus on his studies, but he dropped out and took up a job. He doesn't want to listen to me. I have endured so much hardship while raising my son, and now he refuses to heed my advice."
Unicef's recent data highlights one in seven children and adolescents aged 10 to 19 in Bangladesh facing mental health problems. WHO further reports that 5% of adolescents aged 13 to 17 exhibit signs of anxiety and suicidal tendencies.
Afifa Jahan, another single mother, shares the details of her journey and commitment to her child's mental health.
She said: "As a mother, this road has not been easy for me, but I am proud because I am a mother. I cherish hearing my daughter call me 'mom.' However, I consider it my primary responsibility to prioritize my child's mental health and development."
As a mother, Afifa has always encouraged her children to have a strong bonding with their father. She explains: "I want them to talk to their father daily. I maintain a friendly relationship with him solely for the healthy mental development of my child."
Tawhida Shiropa, founder and CEO of Moner Bondhu, a mental health and wellness support platform, stresses the importance of co-parenting, particularly for separated parents. She acknowledges lower-class families' unique challenges and emphasizes the need to create awareness and support systems for them.
Sufia (not her real name), whose husband passed away nine years ago, works as a domestic worker in Dhaka, leaving her son and daughter in the care of their grandparents in the village.
Sufia expresses her worries, saying: "I had to leave my children at the village home as I cannot afford to bring them to Dhaka. I know they are safe with their grandparents, but I still worry about them."
Her 12-year-old daughter Ayesha adds: "I don't have a father. Mother is struggling hard to raise us. If we had a father, we wouldn't have suffered so much."
A study, titled "Depressive Symptoms Among Adolescence in Bangladesh", indicates that children whose parents are absent due to work-related factors are more likely to experience depression.
Anjuman Parvin Ove, a mental health specialist and single mother, provides a unique perspective.
"My journey as a single mother started 12 years ago. I am solely responsible for raising my child and fulfilling all family responsibilities. Along the way, I faced various criticisms from society. My top priority was my 12-year-old son Azwad's mental health because children endure significant pain when their parents separate. They often feel responsible and may experience insecurity, depression and anxiety. They struggle to accept their parents' separation," she said.
This mental health specialist emphasizes the need for parents to prioritize their child's mental well-being during separation. While acknowledging the challenges, she believes both parents should be mindful of the child's mental state.
Anjuman also shares her experience, where she had to reassure her son of his strength and explain that God is testing him.
These stories highlight the challenges faced by single mothers and their children. It is crucial to prioritize children's mental health and create awareness about the unique circumstances and support needed by single-parent households in Bangladesh.
Anjuman highlights the significance of mental health in our lives, emphasizing that depression and anxiety are not uncommon. Children can also be affected, but the concept of single motherhood is still not widely understood or accepted in society.
Tawhida Shiropa adds: "It is normal for a child to suffer without a father. However, if a child asks why his father is not present or why he has to live without him, the situation should be calmly explained to him. The explanation should be age-appropriate and gradual. Speaking negatively about the father in front of the child unnecessarily harms his mental health and exacerbates his depression."
Awareness of this issue is crucial, and Tawhida urges stakeholders to ensure that no one misses out on necessary support if government initiatives are implemented.