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Wait-zoned

  • Published at 09:58 am December 14th, 2015
Wait-zoned

Nothing can be more depressing for a man than being bro-zoned, but as long as being insecure is considered, being wait-zoned subsumes it by miles, and can therefore compete for the most “dreadful” title.

For those who have waved their youth goodbye a long time ago, or for any reason unclear about the two terms in the heading, the former refers to the dichotomised situation where you are unsure as to whether or not your loved one’s feeling is mutual. The latter denotes the agonised situation when a girl finally expresses that she adores you as a “bro” and not as a prospective significant other.

Not everyone gets bro-zoned from the beginning. A scenario must play itself out, where the guy asks the girl out and gets either one of the two replies. The first one being along the lines of “I am already in a relationship” and the second being similar to, “I have never seen you as anything more than a brother.” Any one of these two replies, by default, places the guy into the universally detested “bro-zone.”

However, there is a good part of being in the bro-zone (although it almost sounds similar to “the positive aspects of consuming poison”). It provides you with clarity, for you to know that you have absolutely no chance so you can move on, or take the high road of asking your potential-sweetheart-turned-sister to hook you up with someone else. On this regard, your new-found sandbox, termed as the wait-zone, puts you in such a dilemma that you remain ambivalent until some definite situation wipes out your hopes that something positive is waiting at the end of the tunnel.

Now how do you know that you've been wait-zoned? The initial definitive sign is the extra concise replies to your chat box, which progresses into replies between 30 minute intervals to finally a conclusively stagnant silence. The other common signal is to digress whenever the conversation even remotely tends to loiter around topics on what one thinks about the other. To give a subtle but convincing example, giving replies to Facebook comments where words are inserted with the highest caution so no one can even raise a question regarding whether there’s something fishy going on between the two.

The feeling of getting bro-zoned is caustic, but that of being wait-zoned cripples you with sheer uncertainty, and thus, makes you unsure about what the next step should be. Seasoning the agony with indecisiveness makes a deadly combination, with effects far damaging than just to make you search for songs with lyrics portraying your feelings on YouTube.

Now I know many people can relate to this, since I spoke their mind, and they would be tempted to contact me by the little details they’ll get behind this article about the author. But, unfortunately, I don’t know the way out. Had I known it, you wouldn’t be reading my piece here, and I would have already opened a multi-million dollar company to suggest and comfort the “anything-zoned,” and preferably, had my own reality show signed with the Bravo TV network.

You may enjoy the wait-zoning process in its totality; with the uncertainty and surprise of turning it towards a more hopeful bond with constant confusion and unpredictability. You never know, any day, at any time and at any given moment, the zones can be replaced by a stronger bond of love with complementary explanations like “I was really not sure you liked me so I was afraid to speak up. And it’s the only reason I had to (wait-zone you and) make you wait.”

But to those who get wait-zoned or is in the “wonderful” process of becoming, isn’t life too short for any of it?