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Baby braggers

  • Published at 12:32 pm April 18th, 2015
Baby braggers

We’ve all encountered them from time to time, hovering for just a bit too long at the buffet table so that all and sundry can be privy to their monologue; hanging around outside the school to latch onto unsuspecting passersby and regale them with more tall tales. Yes, I’m referring to those insufferable specimens known as “baby braggers.” They’re that annoying breed of parent, who simply cannot stop talking about their child’s awe-inspiring accomplishments, be they speaking fluent French before the age of two, or becoming potty trained by their 1st birthday.

While it’s perfectly normal for all parents to think that their children are the second coming, and that no other child on planet could possibly be as bright or as beautiful, it’s quite another thing to announce that to anyone who will listen. Most of the time, we parents are simply proud of our children and want to share that joy with others, but it becomes annoying when it’s constant and with that particular air of superiority and gloating that tends to coat many a parent’s sharing. Those are the ones just asking for a smack upside the head, followed by the words, “can your child do that?”

This particular problem has become endemic in our society recently; thanks to the advent of social media and the tendency to just let it all hang out there. People are sharing more now than ever before, and gone are the rules and regulations which guided society previously. It was considered uncouth to divulge personal details in casual conversation, just as it was frowned upon to boast unabashedly of one’s own accomplishments. This is no longer an issue, if anything, people are now more desperate than ever to outdo each other in every aspect, and it seems to have become perfectly acceptable. Well, news flash people: It’s not. It’s still rude and uncouth to try and erect a hierarchy of greatness among your peers, especially when it comes to little people who still poop their own pants and have no say in the idiocy of their parents.

The truth is the only people who really care to hear about the brilliance of your kids are the people who are related to them – grandparents, in particular, can take endless pleasure in the smallest details of their grandchildren’s lives. So, do the world a favour and try to tone it down. Nobody is averse to the occasional cute photo of your offspring on Facebook, but we couldn’t care less about how many times they pooped in the toilet yesterday.