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In the eyes of the beholder

  • Published at 11:00 pm January 26th, 2020
Hearts
Photo: BIGSTOCK

On how beauty offers insight into love

What is “beauty?” Every person has their charms, their quirks, and their appearance. “Beauty” can mean a lot of different things depending on who you ask. If you ask me, “beauty” is an insight. When you look at someone you truly find beautiful, ask yourself one question: “Why?” Is it because of their appearance? Is it something more? 

Appearance is always a factor. You may find it superficial, but it is only basic human nature, being drawn to whatever is most pleasing to the eyes. For example, you’ll probably think a rose is prettier than a stain on a sidewalk; it’s the same in this scenario -- only those items likely have less personality than the humans we’re thinking of.

Now referring back to the point: Why do you find someone beautiful? It’s because of several factors which I’ve mentioned prior, but there is more to it than that. And that’s where the aforementioned “insight” lies.

If you happen to be married or dating someone, you should ask yourself one question: “Why do I love this person?” You are likely to come up with answers that, if you asked a close friend or even a relative the same question about the person in question, they would probably fail terribly at guessing. Their answers would likely have little to no correlation with yours. That is the insight that comes with the love you feel. The characteristics of the person whom you’re in love with, that no one else can see. 

It is that insight into the other person’s life, personality, and all-round character, which makes you fall in love with them. Love is never solely based on appearance ie physical features, because that is just attraction -- a wrapping for your Christmas morning present; you’ll always open the most enticing one first. Love is something deeper, a more emotional and more meaningful connection.

Love is the ability to see within someone else and find that one thing that no one else sees, but you have fallen completely head over heels in love with. It may be vague, but love tends to be that way. Therefore, beauty is not solely correlated to the physical appearance of one’s beloved, it is the emotional connection between the mind and the heart and the soul. 

Even with the knowledge of another’s character, and with all their flaws (which you’ll most likely not have any trouble listing), they’re still beautiful to you and you look past all of those flaws, be it in their nature or their appearance. After you find that one little thing about the person you have come to love, questions of the beauty or their appearance are rendered moot. Once you find that someone who can ignite the flame of love within you, nothing else truly matters anymore.

Their beauty may have beckoned you to them but that’s because beauty leads to attraction; it’s solely the personality or their nature that leads to the love that you have come to feel for them. It is the packaging that draws you, but it’s the contents that keep you there; because truly, love is a gift. 

Aryan Kamal is a freelance contributor.