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Straight Bat: England win the most boring semi-final ever played

  • Published at 11:07 am July 12th, 2019
England cricket team

They play New Zealand in the final

There is absolutely no doubt that this is a conspiracy. Maybe it's not clear yet who fixed it, but nobody cares and it doesn’t matter. Eng and Aus managed to come to the ground and play some of the most ridiculous cricket ever played. ICC is reportedly pumping yaba to the commentators’ blood to make them sound excited. 

One may have said what a great game of cricket or something like that, which was probably cheered by the entire English fandom. Even the dull Brits had to pretend enjoying it.  It wasn’t just dull, it was mind-numbing. Never had a cricket semi-final been played by two such ordinary teams. 

Granted that Eng played better to win but anyone who has played like the Australians did deserve another team to play against.  Two colonizer countries, bred by the same bloodline showing each other how badly they can play the game they claim to have invented. On this semi-final day, it didn’t seem like anyone could be so silly as to claim such a dubious credit. 

What game, what game?      

Australia scored 223 in what was one of the most awful cricketing displays by a supposedly top team.    And get this, they took 50 over to do that. I mean even we caved in 8/9 balls earlier when India floored us. And what were you doing for 300 balls?  

Smith scored 85 and Carey 46 but the rest were unremarkable. Adil Rashid and Woakes took 3 wickets each and someone took 2 but why English bowlers couldn’t bowl them out with scores this paltry, should be investigated by the ICC. 

In reply, Eng only took 32 overs to overhaul the target with Roy scoring 85 and getting out, which he claimed was due to an error. But guess what, they had no reviews left, so he fumed and fussed and argued with the umpire. Finally, he wanted to call his mother and complain, but no one gave him a phone and he had to walk back.  The review was used by Bairstow in one of the sillier lbws. 

See how bad the match was? The only interesting moment was caused by an error and belonged to the same side fighting its own silly decision. Great cricket if you ask me. 

Rain washed out matches looked better in comparison 

So Eng goes to the finals and NZ is waiting there. Nobody I know is interested in the finals between two bland teams and it looks bad for the future of cricket.  Now I can see that the rain washed out matches were so much more fun in comparison.    

I am dreading having to watch and follow the final. Maybe I won’t. 

Hey, that feels good.