• Friday, Jul 30, 2021
  • Last Update : 08:49 pm

Straight Bat: Bangladesh and major conspiracy theories

  • Published at 10:30 am July 8th, 2019
Bangladeshi opener Tamim Iqbal walks back to pavilion after getting out against Pakistan on Friday, July 5, 2019 Dhaka Tribune/Md Manik from London

Indian and Pakistani restaurants joined hands to fix the matches so that humiliated Bangladesh shop owners and people would leave UK and they can be taken over by the conspiring countries

So Bangladesh is out and fans are duly disappointed. However, most are busy discussing the major conspiracies that led to its slightly.. ahem- not so great performance. To many fans it’s not the playing that matters, but conspiracies that caused them. Here is a highly dubious selection: 

The Indian conspiracy 

India has always conspired against Bangladesh and its people and caused the losses though not sure how. “India will never let Bangladesh rise so it made a deal with England and Australia and Pakistan to beat us.  Otherwise we are the best team. Look at how Sakib played.”

The Pakistan conspiracy  

Pakistan conspiracy theory is more specific. “Remember the Liberation War in which we beat Pakistan. They have never forgotten that so they are always trying to take revenge. We can beat them anytime but we forget that they are always into conspiracies. We beat them in the Asia Cup and have improved since then. So, how could we lose to them? The PM must institute an Inquiry committee and find out who is behind this and take actions.” 

The England conspiracy 

“England knows that Bangladeshi restaurants in the UK control the UK economy and the Londonis are very hard working. That is why Indian and Pakistani restaurants joined hands to fix the matches so that humiliated Bangladesh shop owners and people would leave UK and they can be taken over by the conspiring countries.” 

The US conspiracy 

“US is scared of Muslims and the new Islamic renaissance that is sweeping the world. Bangladesh, Pakistan and Afghanistan were victimized. Pakistan was prevented from reaching the semis and so was Bangladesh. If the playing was fair, it could have been a three Islamic country semis but the US and Trump joined hands with the Christian and Hindus to prevent this. Look at Palestine and Iran.”     

The Jamaat-Awami League-BNP conspiracy 

“Jammat has spent millions to prevent the WCT from trying war criminals and so spent even more to humiliate Bangladesh after the trials and this was the result.”  

“BNP’s leader is in London and he organized everything to humiliate Bangladesh with the money made during the last election.”  

Also Read- Straight Bat: Pakistan beats Bangladesh to take the 5th spot

“How can this happen when the captain is an Awami League elected MP? If Bangladesh wants to win, it must release Khaleda Zia from jail.”  

The ultimate conspiracy 

“Of course there is a conspiracy but we are not going to say what for the sake of investigation. This is a deep national threat to Bangladesh and it will be resisted. Nothing happens in this country without a conspiracy.  If there is none, how can we explain that it was about cricket? What is cricket except a conspiracy? Nothing is so simple. Maybe it’s a Rohingya conspiracy? Food contamination? Crossfire?”

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