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Being independent -- is it worth it?

  • Published at 04:54 pm May 14th, 2018
Being independent -- is it worth it?
Taking the road less travelled / BIGSTOCK

We fight and we survive

The breeze. The raindrops. Soft raindrops. But the wind. Getting drenched on the terrace, and bang -- the loud alarm of the phone. 

It’s late. Rush to brush. Workouts. Shower. Oh! It’s getting late! Some of us may even have to make breakfast and lunch. As for the ones like me, we have our favourite cafes and granola with an americano to grab. 

It’s tough, but we refrain from complaining about it. Because it’s worth it. I sometimes cannot believe that these days I wake up without my mother having to call out my name. Although I do miss having a good breakfast. 

The travel time from home to work, at times, is the only isolation we can afford for our sanity. Sometimes, even that is not ours. Especially if you travel in buses or Uber alone. 

The gaze never lets you be alone. For them, we are entertainment. Regardless of what we wear. 

For us, it starts with the terms “follow,” then “stalk” and finally “haunt.” For a woman, it is a reminder that she is a woman and the world is ready to demean her. 

Some of us fight back nonetheless, and the rest don’t know how to.

Can’t blame them. We were not supposed to fight living in a world of human beings.

And if you are living on your own in this charming city, God knows, even your neighbours stare at you as if you are a volcano about to erupt.

Probably the only people who are sweet to you are your maid, guards, and the girl next door who dreams of a life like yours. It’s not easy I tell you. But, it’s worth it. 

One funny misconception I really want to address is of people stating that if you live on your own, you party every night. To that, I would like to say, do these people even think about what they are about to say before saying it? Do these same people even know how much it costs to live alone? That too for a girl? Again, not complaining, because even these funny little misconceptions are worth it.

However, in all honesty, how many of you can relate to waking up the way I do, (regardless of your marital status, or your accommodation status)? Yes, that’s how most of our lives are. A woman’s life. 

And it doesn’t matter if you are single, if you live with someone else, if you are married, divorced, have kids (or even just a pet). It’s always the same for us and it’s all worth it. And if it’s not, I believe it’s time you ask yourself what’s worth living for. 

For someone like myself -- I find joy in observing how powerfully we juggle various responsibilities. And the pride we take in doing it. It’s satisfying, and mind you, it’s graceful too. Being able to get things done on your own, being able to call yourself independent -- every little hassle is worth it.But do you know what’s not worth it? Having to hear that we are too ambitious for our own good.

Being taunted because we know ourselves, because we know what we want, and we go for it. 

The guy from the “reputed” family may not want to marry us. Well, not that we are bothered. Because we were never really waiting for someone to define our independence for us or tell us that we are complete.

We are not the ones who wait for others to lead us to our dreams. We make our way through. 

We fight and survive. 

And while I am busy writing this, I am clearly missing out on a date with a “reputed” guy as the aunties may put it. One may ask: Does it feel lonely?

Honestly, sometimes it does, because as I finish this article, my coffee cup is empty now, and it’s almost bedtime, and I am still left with a bunch of deadlines to meet. 

Taking care of your own self is no joke. But trust me, it’s all worth it. 

Sanjida Tanny is Founder of Contentier.