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Monsters in our midst

  • Published at 12:02 am October 26th, 2016
Monsters in our midst

Hatred poured on to Badrul from all over the country, when the video of chopping Khadiza like a butcher became viral on different social sites. Badrul’s Facebook page was flooded with public comments, full of anger and hatred.

People burst out in anger demanding his capital punishment. It should be mentioned that most of them are men who bear the same mentality like Badrul. How?

Through mass media, we came to know that Badrul was a lodging master at Khadiza’s house. He developed a love affair with her, or tried to. When it was disclosed, Khadiza’s parents sacked him, and Khadiza also denied his proposal, or broke up with him.

Badrul -- a fourth-year student of Economics at Shahjalal University of Science and Technology, and also a leader of pro-ruling party student organisation at SUST -- continued disturbing her. It does not matter if the girl wants him or not -- he wants her.

The man’s desire is the first priority in our patriarchal society. Women are considered inferior to men, so when a woman hurts a man’s ego, he cannot take it. Even a very ordinary man beats his wife up, even if he is less educated than his wife, or holds a lower position socially or economically. Just because he is a man, the superior species by birth.

Despite higher education, a good job, or contribution to society, the first identity of a woman in our society is as a bodily object created for man’s purpose. That’s why there is no difference between a bus helper and the highly educated male passenger of the bus in their attitude towards a female passenger.

The working women, who have to ride buses every day, go through such bitter experiences. Even the rickshaw puller advises his female passenger not to raise her voice on the road, as she is a woman.

From road to bedroom, we have to fight for our rights as human beings everywhere.

The highly educated husband, and so-called gentleman to other people, does not hesitate to beat his wife in the bedroom just for arguing with him, or over any petty thing. And the wife should not let other people understand that she is being beaten up by her husband, because it will spoil the reputation of the family.

Well-wishers, relatives, neighbours, and even close family members advise her that a modest wife should endure, compromise, or handle her husband in a certain way. In case any woman screams or cries loudly while her husband is beating her, does anybody go to her help?

Don’t you, yes I am talking to you, who are now protesting the physical attack on Khadiza, keep mum and avoid it, saying it is their family matter?

Unless we change our mentality, views, and backward practices of dominating women, the monsters in our midst will keep hurting women, one after another

Many think the wife must have done something wrong, that’s why the husband is beating her. Don’t you advise the wife not to argue with her husband? Arguing with the husband is a punishable crime, isn’t it? If Khadiza were Badrul’s wife and Badrul were not a BCL leader, would you respond in such manner?

Why am I asking this? Because, almost every single day, a housewife is beaten to death or burnt alive in our country, for dowry or other reasons. Does it stir your mind? Do you ever feel sorry for the wife whose husband beats her brutally, very often, if the husband is your friend or brother or relative?

Many of you have even grown up seeing your mother being beaten up by your father, and accepted it as a normal incident.

Badrul is one of you, who has become an ego-centric monster, politically powered.

How many of us think nobody has the right to hurt others physically? Have you ever thought how many men are killed every year by women? Why does a wife or a girl who is cheated on by her husband or boyfriend not take revenge?

There are lots of women whose lives are destroyed by their husbands to such an extent, that they commit suicide.

Before taking their own lives, could they not have taken revenge? Despite so much brutality on women, why do men remain safe?

The values, norms, or rules in a patriarchal society are also accepted by women. We take it for granted that whatever a man does, a woman should be passive and abide by the existing rules.

So, unless we change our mentality, views, and backward practices of dominating women, the monsters in our midst will keep hurting women, one after another.

Monswita Bulbuli is a Sub-Editor at the Dhaka Tribune.

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