In the last couple of weeks, I caught my six years old son telling lies and exaggerating outrageously. I told him that it's bad to lie and behave in this manner, and that if I see him lying again I will punish him. However, he still hasn't stopped. I am really worried about his future, what if this lying habit develops further and he day ends up stealing things? I'm feeling distraught because none of my approaches to fix this has helped.
If we find that a child is lying and exaggerating, we need to find out the reasons that have caused the child to learn that lying is a survival skill. I can understand how this is upsetting you, however, you have to know that children are basically truthful and normally lie only if they have found that telling the truth results in punishment or the loss of the love of their parents. Also, if you keep trying to teach them logically that lying is wrong, usually it doesn't help as it doesn't address their fear. Instead, what we need to do is find out why they are doing it. We have to make them understand that we are their “safe place”, that we care about how they feel, and that we will never punish them for telling the truth. If we can do that their confidence will grow and gradually their fear will vanish, which will help them tell the truth.
My one year old boy is very attached to his grandmother. I joined work when he was six months old but these days whenever he stays with us at night, he cries for his grandmother. This is very upsetting for my husband and me. I give my son a lot of time: I bathe him, feed him, spend time with him and even play with him one to two hours every day. I am worried that he is becoming more attached to his grandmother than us. What should I do now?
I can imagine how frustrating it can be for you and your husband, but at least you know that your baby is truly happy with his grandmother. Think about it this way: when you are gone, she is in good hands. I think it was his way of just making sure that all the people he loves are alright. Talk to his grandmother and explain the pain it caused you. Ask her to reinforce who is the mother, as much as possible, through pictures and discussions. Sometimes take some time off from work and strengthen your connection with your child. Hang in there, because it is our guilt to carry forth the situations we are in and we have to do what we can to change it.