Muslims all over the world will soon be celebrating the holy festival of Eid Ul-Adha, which is the second of the two most important festivals celebrated in the Muslim calender.
That time of the year is here, when most city dwellers who want to celebrate Eid with relatives start leaving the city, making way for a congestion free Dhaka. No traffic bottlenecks, no overcrowding, and best of all no noise pollution. While there is a lot to look forward to, the real joy of Eid is felt when we get together with our loved ones, near and far.
As much as we love the idea of Eid, we can't help but get excited about all that comes with it, a great part of which is the different kinds of celebrators. From the serious, pious ones who will never miss a chance to preach, to the serious vegans who will make you feel like your sacrifice is just another word for murder, to the show-offs who will shout out the price of their cows and finally, the bystanders who will let Eid pass by in a breeze – this week, we take a peek at the various kinds of celebrators we come across during the holidays.
The Number Dropper
Regardless of where you live and how you choose to spend your Eid, you can't help but come across The Number Droppers. These kinds are A list qurbani stars - the ones with the thickest wallets, biggest mouths and of course, the fattest cow. Their forte lies in their ability to always one up you in your goru-buying spree. You bought a laal goru for Tk50,000, well he bought one for Tk1 lakh 50. You sent two cows to your son-in-laws? He sent four to his daughters. The ND's never spare a single chance to gloat about how their buy is undoubtedly the best buy. To steer clear of these ones, have a couple of responses on the ready to try and outsell them.
The Animal Rights Activist
Preachy vegans aren't that easy to find in real life in Dhaka, but quite easy to spot on Facebook. They can be found waging war on Facebook, posting sad, depressing statuses about the cruelty of humans, mourning the genocide of dear cows and goats and every other edible animal on the planet. They shame those that kill, point fingers at the system, and force those who sacrifice animals to be ashamed of themselves. Any religious justification is thrown out the window to be replaced with a gluten free gloat. If you want to be in the good books of these people, the best thing to do would be to not post any qurbani photos and not sound excited about Eid celebrations. The smallest sign of celebration leaves them quivering in disgust.
The Silent Sally
Silently checking out all the drama from afar are the Silent Sallys. Probably the most tolerable of the lot, they are the ones who are laid-back and nonchalant about it. Eid? It might as well just be another Friday. Slaughtering cows? All they care about is if there's beef for lunch. Even if there isn't, they couldn't care less. Hailing from a broad age bracket of early teens to late 50's, the SS don't really care for Eid or the sacrifice. Neither do they preach their own theories or look down on those that do. The most laid-back lads and ladies of the lot, the SS' are the ones you'd like to spend your Eid with.
The Religious Zealot
Everything these one's do, they do in the name of God. From how exactly to purchase the cow, how to bargain for it and how to walk it home - every aspect of Qurbani Eid is seen with a critical eye, one that is often unforgiving. Not only do they over analyse their own actions, they never stop from doing the same with others. From giving out unwanted advice at the gorur haath to poking their nose in their neighbours cow-cutting spree, they are all over the place.
Love them or hate them, there's no denying you will run into at least a few people on this list, if not all, so might as well take it in stride and settle down to enjoy the festivities. Eid Moo-barak everyone!