Its winter! Dawat season. Although I am not sure there is even a season anymore, as weddings and parties seem to relentlessly occur all year round.Its winter! Dawat season. Although I am not sure there is even a season anymore, as weddings and parties seem to relentlessly occur all year round.
Of course there are those professing “jetey ichcha korche na”, but are offended when not invited, stalk those who are invited, or have readied their clothes and jewellery in anticipation of an invitation.
So what are the types one is likely to meet in a typical Dhaka dawat?
1. The Host and Hostess
Thanks to social media we know who throws the best parties. We become familiar with the meticulous Hosts and Hostesses, who are not known to us personally, but cross and criss-cross our cyber paths as we scour through walls, tagged posts, and photos. If we play our likes and comments and photos right, eventually we receive an invite to one of those fabulous parties…2. The New Face
Hmmmmmm, in the era of Facebook and Instagram, does such a person even exist anymore?3. The Non-Offender
My favourite type. These people never offend, as they do not utter sentences. They come up to you, but keep a 'bhodro' distance, and ask, “kemon acho”. If you are smart, you will not launch into a detailed description of how you are doing, because it is a waste of time. You see, the Non-Offender does not really want to know; his or her eyes are already darting here and there, trying to catch the next person’s eye, so he/she can again walk up to someone else and “kemon acho”.4. The Apprehender
The one who is so excited to see you walk in the door, comes rushing up to you, and before you can introduce yourself to Host/Hostess, whisks you off to a corner, because a matter of great secrecy and urgency has to be discussed with you in low undertones in a suitably crowded corner of a very crowded room.5. The Long Lost Relative
This is an awkward one. Your family members fought a bitter inheritance dispute with the Relative’s family members many moons ago. As a result the two families made it a point never to be at the same place at the same time. Well, a few generations later, it is difficult to maintain such stringent boundaries, so you and Relative end up at the same dawat. You know a little bit about each other, you have seen each other on FB, as you have common friends, but never added each other because of the fear of having the request rejected. Your eyes meet several times, but neither you, nor Relative, are sure who will make the first move.6. Your BFF
There was a time in your teenage years when this person was the be all and end all of your life. You were together every waking moment, until either BFF or you had to move to another country, and you cried infinitiely when you were informed about it and you promised each other that your friendship would always remain constant. Decades later, you spot the one time BFF across the crowded room…7. Your Ex
This is not as awkward as seeing the Long Lost Relative, or as emotional as the BFF. In fact it is just highly amusing and can be thrilling even, especially if you look better than the present spouse or partner of the Ex and if your clothes and accessories are more expensive. And if the other guests happen to mention your happiness and wealth very loudly, well, that is just an additional score.8. The Non-Recogniser
You met this person at a dawat two weeks ago and you spent most of the evening bonding with her/him. You discussed everything from problems with inlaws to political philosophy and came away with a warm fuzzy feeling that there was another person in Dhaka who was exactly on the same wavelength as you. When you saw the name of the person on the invitation list for the present dawat, you were excited that you were going to spend another enlivening soul-baring evening. You walk into the room, see the person, and 'ishara'. But he or she looks right through you. You think perhaps your 'ishara' was missed, so you walk up to the person with an expectant smile. To your utter shock he/she walks right past you, with not a hint of recognition.9. The Offended
You have no clue what you have done, but the person has been deeply offended. He/she is brusque, sarcastic, and clearly not happy with you. Rest assured, there has been some 'kotha lagano'.10. The Denier
You are introduced to the Denier, and the first thing he or she says is, “I have never even heard of you”. You wince, because in this day of social media, if you have never existed prior to this introduction, it pinches. A few minutes later the Denier says, “Aren’t you so and so’s cousin?” Wince over. I did not exist, but you know my family members???? Come on!!!!Chintamoni grew up in Dhaka where she will always belong, but never quite fit in. She is an enthusiastic traveller, compulsive procrastinator, and a contumelious raconteur. 
