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Premonition of love

  • Published at 04:12 pm December 13th, 2020
Heart-and-love Bigstock

I’d never heard a word to describe that feeling though; that premonition, for lack of a better description

Asked a few friends, colleagues but didn’t get any satisfactory answers. So I asked Google, my boon companion. And it replied, there is no such word in English language. And I am pretty sure, there is none in Bengali as well. 

That thing - What is it called when it is between like and love? Just like that “sleepy fish” song, I liked him a lot, but I don’t necessarily love him. For sure, I miss him.. I’m fond of him.... I am not quite there yet, but I can feel it. Maybe it’s around the corner, knocking at my door every now and then. Don’t know what to call it though, this feeling. 

Pretty sure That thing! exists universally but not a word to describe it. I am talking about that unsolicited space, something that draws a thin line between pain and pleasure. Some might call it a gratuitous pang. Casting about for a while, I was trying to fathom out this particular notion, all in vain. Since the genesis of early homo sapiens to the diabolical existence of ours today, this ubiquitous feeling prevailed. Now the thing is, I wasn’t satisfied. Yet the linguist in me was quite persistent. 

That thing -  What is it called when it is between like and love?

Unearthing, one day a glimmering glare un-blinded me; I mean metaphorically of course, I could always see but could never discern. Seems like for one language it is not that complex after all. Of course, the language that has a word for ‘love at first sight’- Hitomebore - has the closest word for That thing! 

Koi No Yokan 

Koi No Yokan  - the feeling upon first meeting someone that you will inevitably fall in love with them. This is quite different from “love at first sight,”. In Japanese, this expression is used when you have a sense of imminent love, somewhere down the road but you do not feel it yet. So in a way Koi No Yokan  is perhaps the closest I can get describing That thing!

According to a BBC article, the expression is more common among the youth and those who have grown up on shoujo manga (comics aimed at teen female readers). Interestingly, the expression has a different connotation for the elderly. See, the old japanese people took love and relationships pretty seriously, for them, relationships meant marriage. For them the Koi No Yokan became important because they were not allowed to decide their life partner, so the idea of ‘falling in love’ became an intrinsic part of their emotion. 

So, what is it then? How would you explain That thing! to yourself regardless of any human language ever existed? I bet you would find thousands of literature if you dive into cyberspace or perhaps hundreds of songs you have already heard about the notion of falling in love. But what about that innominate space between like and love? 

See, it’s no literary piece, rather a compilation of thoughts. That thing  will accompany tempestuous nights in sleepless summers, when you would just ponder in perplexities. Sprinkling drops of rain, with a zephyr, perhaps one vanilla Wednesday morning can change everything. It could be a smile that makes you crazy, conversely an incognito moment can make all things hazy. In accordance with Jiddu Krishnamurti, one of the greatest philosophical minds of our time, I concur, to take that leap from an ambiguous state, from That thing  towards the most beautiful thing on earth, one must try to find what love is not. Any form of violence, be it sexual, or forms of  jealousy, aggression or fear restrict us to take that leap forward. A mind that is self-concerned with greed, fear, guilt, sufferings and its own ambition may not have the capacity to love. A mind that lives in fragmentation, is a divided mind; and it cannot love. Division implies sorrow, says Krishnamurti. And love is just the opposite of division, as simple as that. Now, I cannot offer you a literal translation of  Koi No Yokan, nor can I explain That thing  in our own Bangladeshi terms. But all I can assert, if there is a premonition, something gracious will follow. Love is the ultimate form of good-ness and it is indivisible. Love is the call for a bard who sings for freedom, undeniably. As Rumi would say, if I come you without me, come to me without you.

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