• Monday, Aug 10, 2020
  • Last Update : 10:41 am

Buro howar chinta

  • Published at 06:17 pm June 17th, 2019
Chintamoni_June 15, 2019_pg 1
Photo: Courtesy

Rambling towards 50 

In 2021 I will turn 50. 

No way!! You don’t look it at all!  

Whaaaat! I thought you were much older! I thought you were 68!

*raised eyebrows* 

As I navigate my way through the aging process, amidst approval and affront, I wonder about the physicality of it all. Ok, ok, I colour my grey hair, and use expensive moisturizers, and work out at the gym, and avoid sugar, and attempt intermittent fasting, and therefore I ought to tell myself that half a century is just a number, innit? 

Hmmmm. But it isn’t. It is far more nuanced and sanctified than digits, for the mere thought of it induces a detachment and languor that I quite enjoy. So much so, that I have devised a zen masterplan to put into execution on that blessed day (if I am alive and well, that is). 

So, what is this great plan? Wait and see. Meanwhile, let me briefly describe to you how nearly 48 feels –

• Happy, when my older daughter makes me her signature ratatouille and the younger one tidies my drawers, as I entertain myself with a tv drama or my mischievous sofa destroying cats.

• Content, to have a quiet dinner at home with my husband than attend a fancy party somewhere. 

• Pleased, that I performed Umrah and inspired others to do so. 

• Elated, that my passion for reading novels has been reignited after two decades.

• Restless, after three days in a hotel, no matter how fancy it is. 

• Comforted, to be around my affectionate and quirky household staff. 

• Amused, when I say to a ‘friend’ that I do not really know someone well or have no wish to advance a relationship with him/her, and then the said ‘friend’ immediately starts giving a few thousand likes on the person’s posts. 

• Even more amused, when I tell the same friend that I really like someone, and then (s)he starts giving that person’s posts a few thousand likes too!

• Disgusted, with food being wasted.

• Regretful, of not working and earning much earlier in life. 

• Wistful, when I hear of others taking interesting classes. 

• Sad, when someone I know has a terminal illness, or someone I care about passes away. 

• Enraged, when I hear or read of children and women being violated in some manner. 

• Awed, by the successes of some in my peer group. 

• Humorous, around good friends. 

• Perplexed, with people who have means and opportunity but are never happy.

• Secure, that I have loyal, extremely supportive and caring people around me. 

• Delighted, to be able to buy all the shoes that I want.

• Irritated, with slow or bad service, and khonchas. 

• Nauseated, by falseness.

• Thrilled, to meet animal lovers and itinerant travellers. 

• Creative, when I see material or loose stones. 

• Frustrated, that there are so many I know with mental health issues, who are not seeking the help they need for fear of stigma. 

• Satisfied, when I produce a good piece of writing.

• Firm, when putting boundaries into place with those who have encroached on my personal space.

• Weightless, when I can be completely honest in a safe space.

• Grateful, for the kindness and generosity shown to me. 

• Thankful, for all that I have. 

Blessed? Don’t get me started on that one….

Chintamoni grew up in Dhaka, where she will always belong, but never quite fit in. She is an enthusiastic traveller, a compulsive procrastinator, and a contumelious raconteur. 

blogger sharing button blogger
buffer sharing button buffer
diaspora sharing button diaspora
digg sharing button digg
douban sharing button douban
email sharing button email
evernote sharing button evernote
flipboard sharing button flipboard
pocket sharing button getpocket
github sharing button github
gmail sharing button gmail
googlebookmarks sharing button googlebookmarks
hackernews sharing button hackernews
instapaper sharing button instapaper
line sharing button line
linkedin sharing button linkedin
livejournal sharing button livejournal
mailru sharing button mailru
medium sharing button medium
meneame sharing button meneame
messenger sharing button messenger
odnoklassniki sharing button odnoklassniki
pinterest sharing button pinterest
print sharing button print
qzone sharing button qzone
reddit sharing button reddit
refind sharing button refind
renren sharing button renren
skype sharing button skype
snapchat sharing button snapchat
surfingbird sharing button surfingbird
telegram sharing button telegram
tumblr sharing button tumblr
twitter sharing button twitter
vk sharing button vk
wechat sharing button wechat
weibo sharing button weibo
whatsapp sharing button whatsapp
wordpress sharing button wordpress
xing sharing button xing
yahoomail sharing button yahoomail