Seriously laid-back stories

Today, I share with you a few short and humorous stories/takes regarding certain things. These stories come straight from my life, which you may or may not relate to; however, I solemnly hope that you do relate to them. In order to prevent this from reading like a massive rant, I have tried to categorise them into subheads.

Once again, this is all to help divert your mind from all the chaos and provide you with some comic relief at my expense. Being a comedian this is the best I can offer.

To wed or not to wed Recently, my family has taken an interest in philosophy. That philosophy is "responsibility is directly proportional to marriage and comedy is directly proportional to irresponsibility."

Same goes for my relatives. The conversations between my father and my uncles are something like this: Uncle: Bhai, what is your son doing these days?

Father: Well he was working as a journalist before but these days...

Uncle: Was? But? What's wrong with him? Tell me!

Father: He's pursuing comedy these days as a career.

Uncle: Oh my goodness, find him a bride. That might cure him....of this illness. Given, my cousin recently got married, since he's the eldest among us. Now, apparently, it is my turn to tie the knot. Why? Because I have another cousin who's younger than me and he is dying to become RESPONSIBLE. Faced with all this, I have come up with a theory.

The average Bangladeshi person is under parental pressure the most, twice in their lives.

First when they’re a child, the pressure to get the best grades, then when they’re an adult, to get the best spouse.

Cool dad and super heroes I have been wondering what having a cool dad would’ve been like. For example, a little me not wanting to do my homework, using load shedding and darkness as my excuse. To which my dad, instead of scolding me, would say: “[Bane voice] Oh you think darkness is your ally! You merely adopted the dark! I was born in it! Moulded by it! I did not see a light, till our village got electricity!” Had this ever happened in real life, I know for a fact that I would have always...never done my homework. This is just so I can get him to say it over and over again.

Friendship School was awesome for me since I made a lot of friends. I knew they were my friends since they gave me a nickname. I used to be fat, so they’d call me “teletubby.” However, every time I’d want to play with them, they’d say: “Max, we don’t want to hang with you.”

I ended up wondering, why would I kill myself and why would they join me? It took me two years to figure out what “to hang” meant and finally made some real friends in the year 2007. Facebook was a life saver!

Anyway, after I got older, I got into street performing and found the art of comedy. Thanks to that made more friends and also got myself some mediocre fame. Frankly, whoever said fame doesn’t buy you true friendship, should check my Facebook page. As for everything else there’s Mastercard!