One of the great things about not living in America is that I hardly have to think about Ann Coulter anymore. For those blissful people who don’t know Ann Coulter, she is a conservative blowhard who has made a lot of money calling Arabs ragheads and implying that all U.S. immigrants, and especially Muslims, are living breathing terrorist cells.
If there is an intolerant and cruel political position to be taken, Ms. Coulter is usually in pole position to take it. It is very difficult to ignore her or her bigoted brothers like Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity if you are living in the fifty states, since they are everywhere. I am happy to say that in this poor country of mine, I can go months without reflecting on their unnecessary existence.
I cannot, therefore, forgive my colleague Nader for diverting my attention Ann Coulter’s latest attempt at being the most horrible bully on Earth. Ms Coulter has recently written an article in the Clarion-Ledger, a Mississippi based newspaper with a dour history of racism, where she asserts that any growing interest in what she calls soccer is a sure sign of America’s moral decay. She writes, and I quote:
“If more “Americans” are watching soccer today, it’s only because of the demographic switch effected by Teddy Kennedy’s 1965 immigration law. I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer. One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time.”
Like I said before, I am more than happy to ignore Animal Ann in the normal course of things. But this time she has peed in my corner and I will not turn the other cheek. So here is my appeal; to Suarez.
Dear Luis,
Since you are going to spend the next four months not being very useful to Liverpool, use the time to bring some joy to the world. Go to America. Seek out a blond woman with maniacal eyes called Ann Coulter and bite her.
Yours truly,
Iresh Zaker
If the reader thinks that my measures are a little extreme then he or she has little idea about people like Ann Coulter. She is the kind of person who hates you and me, and makes a living trying to make other white people hate us. Then she claims that WE are the ones who cannot stand her for her American prosperity.
There is little nuance in the Coulter world and definitely no kindness. She does not expect nor will she appreciate a clever repartee. She wants me to bite back. Being a good Bengali Muslim boy, however, I will remember the oft repeated adage from my childhood. If a dog bites me, I will not bite back. I will use Suarez instead. After all him and Coulter have nothing better to do. At least for the next four months.
On a more serious note, I loved living in the United States. Even at its paranoid post 9/11 worst, the American society boasted a level of tolerance and respect that is hard to come by in any other part of the world. If there really is a land of the free, then the U.S. can claim to be it.
No one screams about freedom more than Ann Coulter and her ilk, yet few try as hard to destroy freedom and tolerance as they do. They pose the same kind of danger to America that the most uneducated fundamentalist poses to Bangladesh. Only in Coulter’s case, she knows better. Coulter, Hannity, Limbaugh, and others like them are a disgrace to humanity, and America’s sagacious founding fathers. The sooner America realizes this better for the world.