What I am most afraid of
is losing your memories.
Losing those memories of you, Father
smashing my head at the wall
and throwing all the stuff out of the room
and hurling the slurs.
I'm afraid I will forget these memories someday
and will wake up again
to trust you and the state
Like you
the boundaries, nation and the state
evict me, rob me
push me into lies
and again want me to buy their truths
in the media and newspapers.
I am horribly afraid of losing
the memories of you, father
and the fascist state
both you are the same
dining on the same plate
with two different spoons.
Moumita Alam is a poet from West Bengal. Her poetry collection, The Musings of the Dark was published in 2020.