Red roses, teddy bears, chocolates and everything lovey-dovey is everywhere at this time of the year, but not for you. Will you curse your luck for it? Is it because you're picky, or you're difficult to love, emotionally unavailable, or are you just too available? Do you wear your heart on your sleeve and get played often? If you're alone this Valentine's Day or you’ve recently been heartbroken, then stop asking yourself these questions first.
More than seven billion people populate the world, yet you don't have someone to call your valentine. Everyone you know is in a committed relationship, but you. This is sure to hurt. But maybe, it is what it is.
I'm not preaching motivational quotes to give you hope that the "right person" is around the corner. Maybe they are, or maybe they aren’t. There’s no way to tell, because nobody knows the future. The first step to feel better about any situation is accepting it. Don't analyze; don't compare; just have the faith that when nothing is certain, everything is still possible. And move ahead.
But how does one do that? Not everyone is wired the same way. You have to find your own idea of moving ahead in life. I had a friend who thought getting married was moving ahead. Loneliness was not something that very friend was ready to deal with after a heartbreak. But eventually life turned out to be pretty good for that friend from that decision!
However, you may not feel the same. You may believe other ways to be more effective. For you, taking care of your spiritual and emotional health could be a way of moving ahead. For another, getting a new haircut, hair colour or even getting a "revenge-body" could be therapeutic in a way that would allow them to move ahead. Switching jobs or even locations might help. You need to realize where your life is stuck, and push exactly there.
Common suggestions are usually to get a hobby, travel, learn a new form of art etc. As cliché as they sound, they do provide temporary distractions and joy. But if you're someone like me, you might crave for something more -- something that has an outcome and a purpose. If that's how you feel, mere hobbies won't give you the much-needed boost you need to get. Find out your own purpose and your own style. The goal is to feel worth it, which brings me to my final suggestion.
The main idea is to not love someone, or your past memories with someone, or even a wishful idea of being with someone, more than you love your physical and emotional health. The goal is to stop comparing and complaining, because these actions will only harm yourself and not anyone else.
Whether you take yourself out on a date or start your own business, or just buy that cute outfit online for yourself, remember to value yourself. Remember that love is great, but not at such a cost as to forget yourself. Remember that you are not unworthy of love just because no one has yet discovered you truly. Yes, it might get lonely sometimes, particularly in the month of February, but that's just a part of life -- there will be much more to your life, as much as you add to it.
You are your priority. You are your universe. You are the most important person in your life. So, ask yourself today, "Dear me, will you be my valentine?"
Farhat Binte Alam is a Lecturer of English Literature. Apart from literature, she also enjoys writing on diverse topics like entertainment, self-care and lifestyle.