She is not sure about her age, nor are we.
For during her time, people were not that meticulous in keeping records of birth and death. But from various references like the partition in 1947, the Bengal famine etc, we can deduce she wouldn’t be less than 84. She had seen the partition of Bengal, had been stranded in Pakistan during the Liberation War with her husband, children and a host of other Bengali families. After returning, she lived a quiet and peaceful life in the serenity of the cantonments with her husband and children.
She became grandmother and then great grandmother and later a widow. Her house was always vibrant with her grandchildren visiting her, some even residing with her. She lived a simple life to her heart’s content, caring for her husband and children, relatives and neighbours whether in Karachi, Lahore, Dhaka, or Syedpur.
Life changed gradually for her with her husband passing away more than two decades now. She doesn’t remember when she last cooked something. She lives with one of her daughters and was quite active and at least could mind her own chores like making her bed, washing her clothes, arranging her closet, attending the door bell, even going up to the roof top garden.
She now has to settle for movements indoors only, taking help of a stroller. At meal time she approaches the table, carefully places her stroller close to the table to pull the heavy wooden chair and sit down. She needs someone to put her dinner napkin around her neck and fix the velcro to make sure it doesn’t slip off.
A diabetic and mild hypertension patient for decades, she is on a host of medicines including insulin thrice a day. She needs someone to pour her medicine. The salt pot sits next to her tumbler and she would use a generous amount with every meal, even if reminded of her hypertension. She needs a big finger bowl for washing her hands to avoid the difficult journey to the basin every time.
Just a year back she was able to manage eating fish. But now she complains, “it’s hard, I can’t take it.” While the tea is served, she would stir it for an unusually long time though there is nothing more to dissolve. She would look up to someone sitting beside to fill her tumbler at the table. She enjoys a dessert always or pieces of sweet mango after dinner and would at times say “not sweet enough” when served some rice pudding asking for some more sugar to be put in.
After dinner she would walk to the living area and switch on the TV, the fan, and sit for a while and watch. She has no choice of channel or program and of course she can’t afford to change the channel by herself. Most of the time she would watch the Saudi Channels showing the holy Kaaba and recitation of the Quran or scenes from the Prophet’s (SM) mosque in Madina.
She would sit in front of her prayer table cocooned in her prayer dress in solemn silence. She would frequently ask whether it is prayer time. At times she goes disoriented and needs to ascertain whether it is day time or night.
She would long for her son or daughter to call her. She handles a simple touch phone but would end up pressing the wrong button, and finds it difficult to make a call without being assisted.
All her faculties are alright except hearing. She was given a hearing aid but wouldn’t use it. She would complain about a disturbing sound as she put it on her ear. We ended up using sign language to communicate better because of her hearing difficulty. At times she gets frustrated and complains that nobody even talks to her. But how can we convince her that even if someone would try to converse with her, she wouldn’t hear at all?
She gets her pension as a widow. As an official procedure she needs to use a mobile app and respond to some prompts required for a live verification by the authority once every year. Last time she was being aided by one of her grand-daughters in completing this exercise while other family members waited at the dining table, worrying as to how she would complete it.
Life goes on. She still longs for something that would break her from her mundane routine.
Brig Gen Qazi Abidus Samad, ndc, psc (Retd) is a freelance contributor.