I have been married for seven months now and things are not working out with my wife already. I think I am also to blame somewhat, if not entirely. I am a porn addict and my wife is having a hard time accepting it. She is not as “adventurous” as I am and does not want to try certain things out. We do not have the same sexual appetite and that is causing a lot of trouble in our marriage. I tried to control myself and keep myself from watching porn but I cannot help it. My wife has threatened me that she will expose me to my family and divorce me. Please help me out! What am I to do now?
So, you admit being an addict! Well done, this is the first step towards progression and healing. All of us tend to be addicted to our habits, including always sitting in the same chair (yes, unless we sit in the same chair we feel we cannot enjoy the meal), let alone dealing with alcohol, sex, drugs, porn and food.
What is wrong with pornography you ask? From what I know pornography is not about love, it is about dominance, pain and many other not so positive aspects of sex. At first, people seem to be satisfied by what they watch, after a while nothing excites them anymore, and the need arises to look for more and more voracious acts. There is never an end to it.
What to do:
Concentrate on your wife - the mind and the body that used to excite you, let go of other thoughts. At first it is difficult, but if you breathe out those thoughts and remember you want to think of her, you can do it.
Be romantic and remember the foreplay, it is very important for women.
Connect with your wife at every level, talk about what she enjoys best.
Take it easy and try only what makes her comfortable.
Within her comfort level, tell her what you enjoy.
Most importantly stay for three weeks without watching any porn. You know what they say - it takes 21 days to create a new habit.