There are conflicts which ruin organisations, and conflicts which save them. Anyone who has attended more than one meeting has experienced some amount of tension in the room. Sometimes such tension between colleagues is actually a good thing – conflict is not only exciting and energising, but a catalyst for great ideas.
However, more often than not, conflicts deflate the team’s spirit and hurt its progress and morale. The same conflict that motivates one to think outside of the box can also make their thought process stagnant with the idea that everybody else is wrong. Furthermore, it takes little to nothing for a professional difference to turn to a personal issue.
If you’re in a tense meeting and conflict is imminent, what can you do? Whether you are conducting the meeting or are simply participating, following are a few suggestions to address conflicts directly and nipping it at the bud.
Types of conflicts
To stop conflicts, one must understand the two major kinds of conflicts that may arise at a meeting – professional differences and personality clashes.
Conflicts arise from differences in opinions, and more so when the outcome is of extreme importance. These differences don’t become full-fledged conflicts unless the outcome is important, the decision being made cannot be reversed, or when the decision is going to impact everyone in the meeting. Such conflicts sour relationships if left unresolved and can become a different and more personal kind of conflict.
Less commonly, conflicts take an uglier shape when individuals or different departments participating in a meeting do not like one another, or one group or individual feels threatened by another. These conflicts are really more to do with personality issues than with facts or professional opinions. While they can be similarly handled, the underlying problem behind such a conflict should be separately addressed.
Prevention is the key
The best way to resolve a conflict is to prevent is altogether. If you are conducting the meeting, make sure it is tightly structured – email everyone the meeting’s agenda beforehand so individuals have fewer opportunities to push personal agendas. If you are simply participating, keep the focus on the objective at hand by reminding the group when they seem to be straying.
If there are attendees in the meeting who have a reputation for causing conflict, one needs to be alert from the get go. Conflicts also arise in groups where individuals struggle and vie for influence without having established effective ways of working yet.
The simplest way to overcoming these problems is by introducing a number of rules.
All attendees will be allowed to speak only after raising their hands, or in some way signalling that they have something to contribute. Everyone will be invited to contribute at the end of each individual item on the agenda, to ensure no one hijacks the discussion. One person will summarise the entire meeting, to ensure that all attendees are on the same page.Keeping an eye out for it
When a conflict is due to real professional differences instead of a personality clash or power struggle, it is best to have individuals air their grievances as soon as possible. If you’re sensing disagreement brewing, make sure that people have the opportunity to express this disagreement first before moving on to a different issue. The discussion should not proceed with a number of meeting attendees dissatisfied with it.
In the following section, we are discussing conflict resolution approaches. When conflict happens it is best to end it at the source instead of letting it grow bigger than it needs to be. Do not simply react to a problem; address it before it becomes one.
Conflict resolution –When your best efforts to prevent conflict have failed, you may use the following conflict resolution techniques to calm the situation.
Depersonalise – through this technique, one phrases an issue of conflict to take focus away from any individual, or group and directing it towards the issue itself. For example, instead of saying that one person is simply better at the job than another person, a better way to put it would be to say that while both persons have strengths, one’s strengths are more in line for the issue at hand. The focus is directed towards the issue at hand and the individuals’ strengths, instead of themselves.
Question – turn every conflict into a question. Instead of allowing meeting attendees to simply state that they disagree with something, ask them to find a way out of it through research, brainstorming etc. Ask for suggestions for how the disagreeable idea may be changed so that a consensus may be reached.
Remove perceived threat – one of the biggest reasons that conflicts occur in a meeting is because of perceived threat. This is ubiquitous in nature – animals attack when they perceive a threat. The conflict may be arising because someone may feel that the discussion is putting their position or reputation on the line, or hampering their chances of enjoying a free weekend or a festival bonus.
This kind of conflict may be addressed through a strict agenda, as mentioned earlier. If everyone is on the same page as to what the meeting seeks to discuss, what the objective is and what is expected off it, a lot of individuals may relax a little and not jump in at every speed bump.
Set up another meeting – sometimes it may come to pass that a conflict at a meeting is simply irresolvable or that it is an issue that cannot be freely discussed amidst all the current meeting participants. In this case, the conflict needs to be acknowledged, and a future meeting should be set up, preferably on the same day, to only address the issue at hand.
Some conflict should be expected
The best way to avoid conflicts in meetings is to prepare for it properly. It is good to know exactly what the meeting entails, and not get derailed. Develop an atmosphere where individuals may comfortably state their problems and issues.
It is not possible, nor required, to make everyone happy or get everyone to agree, it is important to remember this. If everyone has had a fair chance to offer their professional opinion at the meeting, and everyone has been a part of the process equally to reach the meeting’s objective, it has been a successful meeting.