We employ a number of communication techniques in our day-to-day interactions to make a point, persuade, demand, suggest, etc. Many of these “techniques” such as examples, allegories, anecdotes, hypotheses, etc comes so naturally to us that we hardly ever think about it.
Similarly, like bad habits, there are a number of negative communication behaviours and styles that we are all guilty of to an extent without being aware of it. One can imagine how detrimental this might be at the workplace, where how effectively and well we communicate may determine how fast and far we succeed.
These negative behaviours get in the way of effective relationship building, networking and simple civility. At the work place, they are more noticeable, as one wouldn’t be as forgiving of a colleague as they would of a family member, and thus they seem more amplified and reproachable.
Getting rid of certain negative communication behaviours which we are not even aware of is not an easy task. It means having to be aware of what you are saying and how, when and where you are saying it at all times.
Following is a short list of common negative communication behaviours or styles that many of us are guilty of. If you spot any that you think may apply to you, you definitely have room for improvement.
Constant disagreements
A number of people get used to routinely disagreeing with everybody, especially when their job involves constant public interface. Next time you find yourself disagreeing with something again, whether you are right or not, try some tact. Unless you are talking about something related to work, most chatter at work is usually exactly that – chatter and small talk. If someone says something you disagree with, your life does not depend upon turning your cafeteria into the parliamentary floor.
Complaints
There are a number of levels to this particular problem. Continuous whining about the heat, traffic or your workload may all be legitimate complaints or even common grounds to start a conversation with a colleague, but you do not want to be known as a complainer. Ask yourself if you are always complaining about something or the other, and how interested others are to hear about it. It doesn’t matter whether your complaints are legitimate or petty. This isn’t a difficult habit to eliminate.
Knowing-it-all
People with this character flaw are usually guilty of pushing others with words. No matter how much more experience and wisdom you have than the person you are communicating with, nobody likes to constantly hear “you should.” Stop telling people what they should or shouldn’t do.
Interruptions
Disrupting others’ train of thought is something we have always been told not to do. This is something all parents teach their children from an early age and yet a surprisingly large number of people never pay heed. Do not start talking while another person is still talking. If you have something to say wait till the other person is done, or interject politely. Do not hijack the conversation.
Seeking approval
Don’t persistently look for approval.
It comes off as insincere because most of the times when someone is seeking for approval, they hardly care for feedback or suggestions and just want everyone else to agree with them. If someone agrees with you, they’ll make it clear. Do not attempt to engineer situations where you try to get others to agree with you or compliment you.