Sometimes I want so much from God
my faith stands in the doorway
and refuses to let me ask.
I do not ask for houses,
for gold, for kingdoms,
I ask for gold foil over my sins,
something bright enough
to hide what is rotten underneath.
I ask for pride in who I am,
pride in who I shall be tomorrow morning,
and still I wake hungry,
gluttonous with that disgusting little prayer
of more, more, more,
until even my hands forget what they were reaching for.
Then I am angry with God
for giving me nothing.
Nothing,
when I brought Him my hunger
and called it faith,
brought Him my weakness
and called it fate,
brought Him a heart full of wanting
and wondered why it never learned
how to be full.
Nubisha Rabya Topote, an XI-grade student at Holy Cross College, is a poet and writer who finds inspiration in the world around her. Find more of her work at @nubishawrites.